In what comes to love

I have come to realize I have quite... Err... Biased opinions based on the situation that I find my self in. I know I have seen my self as a single grown man. Interesting with graying hair, his share of stories with different women from all over the world. And then maybe, on my forties, I meet up someone just fit for me and we decide to share our life...

Other times I have seen me just as a loner, and honestly just dying alone. Probably living on some community in which I become the kid's greatest story teller or something like that. But quite detached from love and women.

I have believed that love is just a messed up illusion sold to us by TV, and it just doesn't really exist. That women are all incarnations of the devil, and their sole mission is to mess up our hearts.

Even, I have to admit, I have seen my self as a player. Although that is mostly a fantasy, because I don't think I could ever be like that... Freaking nice boy thing that I cannot totally wear off my self.

Even regarding kids, I have wanted to be a Dad at one point or another, and then some times I have considered that never reproducing would be the best thing to do ever!!... (More money for me and my woman and all... Silly I know).

The thing is that, at different points, I have honestly believed all those things. And felt quite at ease with those ideas. Now of course, I am silly in love, and I cannot fathom not having Wend around. Again, it is too soon to say anything. And, being rational, a lot of the odds are against this relationship. But... I am so in love with her.

It freaks me out... And some times it worries me that I really do show it, and I am afraid I may freak her our too... But... I hate having to restrain some feeling or idea... Damn. I guess I am not really that smart emotionally... I guess I am not really crippled there either, but... Just... I am too impulsive... Maybe I should... Should I?...

O.o

Stupid going to Canada... ¬_¬