There are some things

that are just plain weird... Not really meant to happen, and mess up your brain in a funny way when they do. One of such things are the hotsprings in Banff... I mean, they are there. Quite real and all... But, it is so cool and weird to be on them!...

I mean, picture this. We all were just in our swimsuits, in a pool that had water coming out of a hotspring, at about 40 Celsius... WHILE SNOW WAS FALLING ON US!!!... O.o

The hotsprings are out in the open, up in the mountains, and you get to lay and rest on them, while surrounded by snow... And.... It is just plain awesome and hard to explain!... I was... GREAT!.

... I had an awesome weekend. We went on a field trip from Friday until Sunday, to Canmore, Banff, Lake Louise and Calgary... Sigh... So much happened and so many lovely memories. We rented two cars, 5 guys on each. Most of us Mexicans, just one pretty cool Brazilian girl. And we had the time of our lives!... ^_^

There are a lot of pictures, and I will try to post a few later on. Maybe even talk some more about it. But the views were so great, the snow, the lakes, the waking on a frozen lake while in the middle of a snow storm, the face of my brother while looking at snow for the first time in his life... I mean... Words are not fair to any of this experiences, because as much as I can talk about what we did.

Snow angels, walking up a snowed mountain (and falling a couple of times while doing so), singing, and joking and just plain smiling... What really made it awesome were the feelings that were jumping inside of me all the time... And those are hard to describe.

...

Cheers then, to life and love and good times!!!...

There are a couple of

Quebecois beers... Mmmhh mmhhh... Not only is it good stuff, but it is 9%!!!... O.o

Good times... Yesterday after we had A LOT of wings at the Turtle, we were convinced by our buddy Chris to go get beer. (Great influence that guy, huh?)... I was more tipsy than sober, when I realized I had told Daniel I was going to help him with a website... So... I went. Heh.

I believe the first thing I told him was something like "Dude... My consciousness state is kind of messed up due to alcohol... Let's see how I do about helping you"... I do think we did something good, and I was more helpful than not. What I am sure of is that since it was working and all, Daniel opened a bottle of good Pinot Noir (red wine)... Sigh... Oh well, of course we had to finish it!... O.o

Then, I played a little this game called "Indigo Prophecy"... AWESOME... Despite me being merry and all, I totally loved the concept and enjoyed it a lot. I hope they start making more games like that. Story driven, different game plays, etc. Europe is starting to become a good source of Video Games. I do believe they will make awesome interesting games... Totally different focus than the American market... Just like with comic books and all. European ones rock big time. They do care more about content than releasing whatever every week.

... I got a tad too geeky there... Sorry.

... And tomorrow morning we are taking off to Banff-Lake Louise... It promises to be a great weekend... A little spoiled by the crazy amount of work I have... But... Oh well. I'll manage. :-P

Cheers people... And, of course, good vibes!!

When I counted up my demons...

One day I am feeling totally down... Like things are going baaaad... Then, I let stuff out, the world around makes me smile, and I do realize I was making a huge storm on a glass of water. Again feeling too responsible for things that are not in my hand... Sigh...

Things are about to get crazy, final projects on their way... And, to be honest, I don't have a clue in how I will make those work. I still think the class I enjoy the most is Neuroscience, by a lot. Enough to want to do some good research in that, but the poor monkeys... 8(

... I couldn't do that to them... Heh...

Cheers!

---

Everything's Not Lost Lyrics
-Coldplay

When I counted up my demons
Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

When you thought that it was over
You could feel it all around
And everybody's out to get you
Don't you let it drag you down

'Cos if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

If you ever feel neglected
If you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

Singing out
Oh, oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Everything's not lost

So come on, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Come on, yeah
And everything's not lost

I have issues with

doing with not doing... Action through inaction...

Letting go...

It makes me feel powerless to know that there is not much I can do some times to make stuff better. I keep forgetting that often times I don't need to. I can just be, stay, listen... I forget about other tools, reiki, good vibes, etc... I want to do... And since I cannot I get into this endless loop of despair... He he he.

But then it breaks... And I kind of feel go... I let go a bit.

... I need to trust in people. In the way they will deal with stuff. I need to understand it is not up to me to make their life better. If anything, my job is to stick around... I cannot do that kind of magic, make someone feel better. That is pretty much a personal choice.

... To learn, to learn from whatever life is placing in front of you right now. Instead of feeling sad about it, trying to learn what is in there for you. What are you supposed to get from it...

... Me?... I am kind of having to learn to trust, to let go... To deal with the fact that not everything is my responsibility I guess... That, not everything I can do. And that, it shouldn't suck.... That I should be ok with it...

Right?...

Heh... Cheers.

Friday night,

singing along Joaquin Sabina, with some friends and the generous aid of alcohol, several songs were sung, several smiles where in place, and several times we cheered...

At some point, the random chose a little poem and gave us this...

Este adiós, no maquilla un hasta luego.
Este nunca, no esconde un ojalá.
Estas cenizas, no juegan con fuego.
Este cielo, no mira para atrás.
Este notario, firma lo que escribe.
Esta letra, no va a protestar.
Ahórrate el acuse de recibo,
estas vísperas son las de después.
A este ruido, tan huérfano de padre,
no voy a permitirle
que taladre un corazón podrido de latir.
Este pez, ya no muere por tu boca.
Este loco, se va con otra loca.
Estos ojos ya no lloran más por ti.

We all stood quiet all of a sudden...

We made one of those faces of recognizition, smiled, and cheered with an even harder yell...

In my mind, what did I cheer for?...

First, because I knew what it was talking about, and although I can empathize and see it's depth, it is a feeling long forgotten and past. But second?... because I hope it doesn't return, because I hope that feeling doesn't come back... Because I don't want to ever again sing it and feel it present... Because it would suck if again I'd had to go through that...

((sigh))

I have always believed

in the therapeutic value of blogs, or diaries, regardless of who ends up reading them... It may be a lonely corner of the planet that no one ever bumps into, like a diary locked inside your cupboard, or a huge blog with thousands of visitors a day... At the end, writing stuff is good for you.

You let stuff out, you write ideas that other wise you usually don't end up sharing, you bitch about life, and can talk about how great it is all you want without people giving you a face, asking you to shut up...

Then, reading a friend's blog, I started thinking about Momo... (pretty much my favorite book)...

Momo...

Are blogs our own personal Momos?... Do they give us that space to just, rant about life while she stares at us with those huge magical eyes, helping us feel better as we rant, not really understanding why, and not really hearing any reply back from her?.

Who are we when we blog?... Gigi?... Or Beppo?...

Would Beppo even blog?...

... Sigh...

See... I feel like exploring the idea, but for the sake of avoiding too much spoilers to whoever has not read Momo (sadly enough, such people exist), I will not... Still. It was a silly yet fun analogy...

Blogs and Momo...

Heh.

Whatever... Cheers to thee all!!...

A full dozen cookies,

and two bottles of wine...

He he he. Good times last night... Indeed.

I find my self having pretty darn interesting conversations with Chris, like the ones I used to have with Allan now and then... And it is quite refreshing. Talking aimlessly about the meaning of life, or how to flow through it, is just good times if you do it with the proper person.

... Cheers.

Chris, my friend

well... We have been talking about quite a bunch of things... It is being a great conversation, as I type this actually... He pointed me to this one song though... Gotta love it.

Consequence Free
by Great Big Sea

Wouldn't it be great, if no one ever got offended
Wouldn't it be great to say what's really on your mind
I have always said 'all the rules are made for bending'
And if I let my hair down, would that be such a crime?

[Chorus]
I wanna be consequence free
I wanna be where nothing needs to matter
I wanna be consequence free
just sing Na Na Na Na Na Ne Na Na Na

I could really use, to lose my Catholic conscience
Cuz I'm getting sick of feeling guilty all the time
I won't abuse it, Yeah I've got the best intentions
For a little bit of anarchy but not the hurting kind

[Chorus]

I couldn't sleep at all last night
cause I had so much on my mind
I'd like to leave it all behind,
but you know it's not that easy

[Chorus]

Wouldn't it be great, if the band just never ended
We could stay out late and we would never hear last call
We wouldn't need to worry about approval or permission,
we could - slip off the edge and never worry about the fall

[Chorus]


---

Cheers...

No... Stop... Don't say it...

Really, if you are ok... If you are really "that ok" and things are going "that great" it is very likely that you are in a state of bliss in which, you cannot really think about the word: happy.

See... Happiness is kind of a state of bliss, one of those things you think about when you don't have it. Like... Toilet paper. There you go!. Happiness is like toilet paper!. It brings a great sense of comfort, it has a greater purpose and makes you feel at ease. Yet... You don't really think about it. Now, when you don't have it all of a sudden... THERE YOU GO...

That is not-happiness, that is angst and bad times right there!. You wish you had your happiness, I mean, your toilet paper around!.

You wish you were happy.

You don't go and yell to someone visiting you "wait!, there IS toilet paper in the bathroom!!" as they go to use the toilet.... WTF?!... O.o

You yell at them, maybe, when there is NOT... So that you can fix it... Or they can start figuring something out. Heh.

Anyway...

If you are happy you just are. You have an aura, a vibe, and it is quite likely that other people can tell. If you are happy you feel so, but don't really feel the need to say it. You may say "I feel kind of good" or whatever. But the words "Yeah, I am happy" don't utter out of your self while in the mist of some random conversation. IF they do... Very likely you are trying to reassure your self by showing off to others the bit of good you have in your life, with which you want to cover all the crap around it.

Very likely you want to convince someone that you are happy, and see if it works with them... Because quite certainly it is not working for yourself and you are not buying it.

... Really. If you are happy, you just are.

... If you are not?... Well... That is quite common, but try to figure out why and do something about it.

Ok?

--- Cheers.

I can already hear complains... "But... but"... Yeah right. You can be happy about something, ok?. You can be having a good day too... Whatever... Think about it. If you don't agree with me that means you want to justify your "I am happy" even more, which makes my point even stronger, so thanks.

Regardless of whatever

I may have to say, I have to tell you about one blog... I am not the kind to read blogs, heh, as funny as that may sound. Most of them I don't enjoy!. I read some of my friend's but because I care about their lives, it takes a lot for me to read some other blog. Like Neil Gaiman's... It is good, but well... It is him.

Anyway... There is one blog called Girlspoke that I just plain like. It is funny, it is witty, and it is insightful. Just... Know that it's worth your time, ok?. He he he. I am not going to say girls are all that way, but I always like looking at their takes on dating, life, and just plain bitching. I like their stuff!. Go read it!.

Me?... Blah blah blah...

Heh.

Cheers!.

Bad times,

just right now... I feel like shit, my head is as if I had a hangover, my body aches, and my emotional state is in the ground... sigh.

Last night, for some reason, all the food that I ate through the day, decided to crawl out of me in the middle of the night, all the way up my esophagus and just barely giving me time to deposit it in the toilet... BLARGH!!!...

... I hate that after taste.

It was indeed a restless night... And now, I am paying for it.

And what else?... Well, I am having a guilt trip for having left Wend, frustrated because I am not filthy rich so that I could go visit her all the time, etc. I could go on and on about this... I really need to work on that letting go bit, and trusting that good things will happen for us if we have the proper attitude...

... I really don't know.

Whatever.... Cheers and send those good vibes over.

Another silly piece

of advice for you guys thinking about grad school?...

Start fooling around with LaTeX... Really... Use editors like TeXnicCenter and stuff like that, and learn how to do stuff... It is HORRIBLE to have a thing due in a few hours, and taking 10 times the usual amount to have it done, just because you don't know how to use the freaking tools!!!...

O.o

On love, I wanted to share

some of the ideas I wrote about love and all over the summer, and it was a bit tricky to track them down... The "search" in blogger is not that great it seems, and I have this tendency to write quite "non-descriptive" titles... He he he.

Anyway... For reference, pretty much for me maybe, here are the links. (Now with at least the words "on love" in the title... argh).

http://www.spacingout.net/2005/05/so-before-i-forget.html
http://www.spacingout.net/2005/06/bottom-line-is.html
http://www.spacingout.net/2005/06/ok-now-on-about-life.html

cheers peoples!!...

ps. life is going good... I may not sleep tonight at all, since I have to hand in a paper in a few hours and well... I am quite behind schedule... Ehem. And I have to say!... Wend made me smile like crazy today for some pictures she took in the beach!!!... *sigh* (she wrote me a message in the sand and took pictures... yes, silly in love I remain... he he he... good thing I daresay!).

Yesterday night, for the

1st time since I arrived to Edmonton, I was truly happy of being here.

You could see it in the smile of my face and eyes, but mostly, I bet that if you could see "auras" you would have seen mine glowing so freaking happy. He he he.

Really, there have been some truly great times down here, sadly enough, most of them are not be documented (and I honestly feel they won't). Great people, great laughs, great views... Etc. But for the 1st time it all made sense.

It made sense to have left everything behind, my pretty darn cool job, my great friends, nice family, and my awesome girlfriend...

I was working in the AMMI Lab on this program called Virtools, for a project in Virtual Reality in which I may be able to help. And well, I was working with a girl that has a pretty cool project, well all of a sudden they all started to make plans to go get some drinks and have a bit of fun. Then they invited me along!... He he he.

You see, I am just going there once in a while, to start feeling like a part of something interesting, but I am not really in just yet. All my school work keeps me from doing all those fun things!. But still, I am starting to meet and get along with the people working in the Lab... So, I tagged along!.

It made me smile to see that Walter (my Neuroscience teacher) and Pierre (the head of the Lab) were going too!, he he he... I loved realizing that those two are not only knowledgeable and great teachers, but they have a pretty cool sense of humor!.

We went to a small coffee house, it had beers from all over the world, coffee and cake, etc. Nice and cozy. Conversation kept flowing for over 4 hours... I noticed the feel of the lab, how they all get along, and it felt great. As well I talked with some of them about their projects, heard them talking about it, and it just kept sending chills down my spine and waves of excitement!.

... Really... It all made sense in there, while looking at Walter (this knowledgeable white haired man) being fun and goofy with a little Kid, Pierre giving advice on beer, and people from all over the world teasing each other and just smiling... People working with great projects involving multimedia, visualization, virtual worlds, and so many cool things!.

... Sigh...

I will do my best in hanging into this sense of excitement about it all.

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!....

Work, work,

work, catching up... It is hard, bla bla bla...

The story is getting old, yet remains current. No point in writting about it though... And a lot of good stuff that I should be writting about... Well... Eventually?... Maybe.

Heh...

Whatever!, just: cheers!

The brain works in

ways that just amaze me... I really cannot grasp the whole idea just yet, and so far I am getting to see that... Well, no one else really can!. At the end there are a lot of models of how the brain works and all... But they don't really know.

Neuroscience is such an interesting area of study, so wide, esoteric and... Plaing weird and freaky!. We are talking about proper science, experiments, data and information. But as well we are dealing with some pretty heavy stuff that we cannot really "touch"... Cognition, emotions, memory and all those things.

A lot of the serious reasearch is still based on assumptions and the same results can be viewed from so many angles!. It is not that the area is not getting anywhere, it is that there is so much to explore and explain!...

We know a great deal on how some mechanics of the brain work, how some neurons communicate, some parts of the brain are more active on this or that situations, etc. But... How much is really known about how we store and retrieve that information?!?... How is there the module that defines who we are?!...

ARGH!...

I am really REALLY enjoying my Neuroscience class... As weird and hard as it may get sometimes...

... Freaky, weird interesting topic indeed. ^_^

If you haven't already,

please, PLEASE go see Coupling (the british version of course)... Rent it... Buy it... WHATEVER!... Get your hands around some episodes and just freaking love it.

Jeff... (or Geoff?)... He is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!.... ^_^

ps. I really do need to get working now... Damn it.

This weekend was

oh so pretty darn good, and I am oh so very happy about it. At first, I was afraid it would suck big time!. My brother went away to Calgary to visit Mariel, so I was going to be "home alone" and well, pretty much thinking about me not being able to go visit Wend. (I know, I know... Leave me alone!).

So, at some point in Friday I got an email from Luis Concha saying something like "So... It is Friday!, let's do something... But, most important... Where?!?!"... What?!?!... WHERE?!... The problem about having fun is not having where?!?!.... NO NO NO... And well, of course my place became the place and all through the day we kept exchanging fun emails about making it happen.

He he he. And it was a pretty darn cool gathering!, Yay! Quite a bunch of people showed up, good drinks, we ordered pizza, and well... Good times and conversations in general.

Then, on Saturday, I went to the choir rehearsal, which was fun and interesting... (more on that "interesting" maybe later). And later I went to the CS open house on the butterdome. (Huge huge yellow building... Heh). It was a fun event and it was pretty much to promote the department. But you get to see all the nicer toys and gadgets that all the different research groups have and well... It's a great way to meet people!.

I can't believe that I did so much that day. I mean, after 4 hours there I went with Pepe to the West Edmonton Mall (huge place), got me some nice shoes and helped him with some of his stuff, and even later I went to a lovely yummy good times dinner!!... ^_^

WOW!!... he he he.

And Sunday?. A great meal and a movie... (Serenity, good stuff but mostly for Firefly fans I think). Good coffee, bookstore, and later doing laundry and watched a fun TV series... GREAT!.

I managed to do everything last week so that the weekend was for me to enjoy, and it went great. I hope I can make that happen from now on. ^_^

... Anyway... Gotta go, I have to figure out why do I owe so much money to the phone companies, and how to pay them!... O.o (Growing up sucks).

Cheers,

Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando,

Noches De Boda
Sabina Joaquin

Que el maquillaje no apague tu risa,
Que el equipaje no lastre tus alas,
Que el calendario no venga con prisa,
Que el diccionario dentenga las balas,

Que las persianas corrijan la aurora,
Que gane el quiero la guerra del puede,
Que los que esperan no cuenten las horas,
Que los que matan se mueran de miedo,

Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando,
Que el escenario te tiña las canas,
Que nunca sepas ni cómo, ni cuándo,
ni ciento volando, ni ayer ni mañana,

Que el corazón no se pase de moda,
Que los otoños te doren la piel,

Que cada noche sea noche de bodas,
Que no se ponga la luna de miel.
Que todas las noches sean noches de boda,
Que todas las lunas sean lunas de miel.

Que las verdades no tengan complejos,
Que las mentiras parezcan mentira,
Que no te den la razón los espejos,
Que te aproveche mirar lo que miras.

Que no se ocupe de ti el desamparo,
Que cada cena sea tu última cena,
Que ser valiente no salga tan caro,
Que ser cobarde no valga la pena.

Que no te compren por menos de nada,
Que no te vendan amor sin espinas,
Que no te duerman con cuentos de hadas,
Que no te cierren el bar de la esquina.

Que el corazón no se pase de moda,
Que los otoños te doren la piel,

Que cada noche sea noche de bodas,
Que no se ponga la luna de miel.
Que todas las noches sean noches de boda,
Que todas las lunas sean lunas de miel.