been a tad un-interesting in the this-has-happened sort of way. A lot has been going on in my mind, interesting ideas are cooking and stuff like that. During this cold days, I really go into hibernation mode, I get quite sleepy and just think about eating all the time.
Then again, I have been working well on my masters project, and this new team are super excited about my thesis project!. It turns out I am working in quite a new field, and even doing a literature search you find about 8 papers on the topic. So whatever I write, if its decent, will become known, and my thesis may set good ground on this technologies starting to bubble up. I feel pretty darn happy with that, and the enthusiasm with my supervisors really makes me feel good!. It took a while, but I finally found my spot for that masters thing, heh.
Pretty cool conversations lately too, in general I guess, but in specific with Albane and Chris. With Chris I have been talking about life and plans a lot lately, philosophizing I guess... He introduced me to the movie "the secret" which I recommend highly!. And well, that kind of movies and material always opens good discussion and conversation.
And with Albane?, well, just very good talks altogether. Being away sucks, a lot. But a lot of our relationship has been forming through this conversations, shaping up good, either having just silly fun times, dreaming together, or quite serious talks about stuff between us. Etc. I can't believe I will see her again in less than 3 weeks!... He he he... Time freaking flies!. I almost just finished writing my adventures in France, and it will almost soon be time to write about her adventures in Mexico!. ^__^
... So yes, I guess a lot of "internal" work, good talks with people that are important to me, and working well in my school, work and personal projects. Social life wise?. A couple of parties; it was Sandra's bday a couple of weeks ago and that was good times with great food. And this last weekend we celebrated Oscar's bday.
It was supposed to be a surprise party, and it almost was... I think out of the 50 people there, I was the one who "blew it"... It seems he was approaching the house while someone made me laugh and... Well... Who ever has heard me laugh knows it carries on. Heh... Either way, it was a good night despite the fact that we were kicked out of the 1st house. (Why would you host a party to kick people out?)... Anyway, because of that the party kind of "turned" into 3 smaller parties in different places, yet you always end up really talking only with a few people, so my "cluster" of the party had a pretty good time in John's appartment, which is conveniently across my street. =)
(Those magnets with words on the fridge can be EXTREMELY entertaining by the way!)...
I mean it.
--
ps. Obviously, the new look of my site is not near ready!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
It could be that
I am going through a period of spiritual awakening. I may be becoming enlightened and bringing my state of consciousness to a higher level... That would be a great explanation of why alcohol and me are not working together lately. I just don't seem to get drunk anymore, just sick... The thing is bad in taste, and makes me feel yucky... I don't have the fun effects, just the crappy ones.
So yes... It could be enlightenment...
Or... It could be I am paying finally the toll of over doing it a couple of times, and my body is just ignoring and rejecting the shit...
(( sigh ))
So yes... It could be enlightenment...
Or... It could be I am paying finally the toll of over doing it a couple of times, and my body is just ignoring and rejecting the shit...
(( sigh ))
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Expect errors...
Expect errors... Broken links... And crap going on the next few days...
I am migrating my stuff to a new ftp server, trying to make this happen with blogger beta, and working on setting up the new design... Bla bla bla.
If something doesn't work, or a link is broken, please just let me know. =)
I will fix it right away, this blog was latilde.com, then latilde.tx, then queloco.net, queloco.tk... spacingout!... He he he... So... Things are bound to be crazy, specialy in the older posts.
Anyway... O.o
Cheers!.
I am migrating my stuff to a new ftp server, trying to make this happen with blogger beta, and working on setting up the new design... Bla bla bla.
If something doesn't work, or a link is broken, please just let me know. =)
I will fix it right away, this blog was latilde.com, then latilde.tx, then queloco.net, queloco.tk... spacingout!... He he he... So... Things are bound to be crazy, specialy in the older posts.
Anyway... O.o
Cheers!.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Damn those blues...
After much hassle, the world feels kind of quiet...
I planned, juggled stuff around, and ended up in France... Came back to NOT put my masters project together, but to actually tear it all appart in pieces, and recover the bits I wanted... Make my own path... Went around departments meeting people, knocking doors... That was fun.
I went to San Francisco, a job offer to consider... A great time over there, a confusing time on my mind...
I took a stance... I chose an interesting thesis project. I am working again doing cool contract jobs... Things are getting down to a point where I actually know what is going to happen next week... It's scary!... Heh...
... Whatever... Cold dark days make me think too much, and the lack of sun and warmth don't put me in the best of moods... I remember the beginning of this year, I remember some posts I wrote on this blog, and how back then, I as well... Was feeling the blues.
Heh... Fuck the blues.
See... Even as I write this I smile and realize how silly this sounds!... I am an optimist, and... All that... Right?... Just...
Honestly?... I was so busy with so many things going on, and so many things to worry about everyday... That it had not really REALLY hit me I guess... I mean, it did hit me... But now, there is no extra noise in my head, no other things to figure out or take care of.
Now, it's just me, my mind... My memories and nostalgia.
And you know what?... I miss her.
We talk so much, dream and laugh, and discuss and... Share... I feel her right now as the closest person to me, to my heart. Eventhough she is across the sea. Sigh... Think of her when I wake up, I really do... And miss her as I am falling asleep.
... sigh ...
See... Right now, my dreams, and hopes, and goals and whatever... They sound cool, they really do. But... Cool as something you see in a magazine, cool as something that "I know I should feel excited about"... But empty too. Like, a huge chunk of me is missing and none of it makes sense if I don't have it... If she is not here. If I can't share it with her.
Ah la la...
Albane... heh... it's a cute name... Goes well with her smile.
Now I will go to bed... Just wanted to rant about corny nostalgia and how much it hits and feels... About the fact that, no matter what I do during the day, I will go to bed thinking of her... Wishing she was at arm's distance... Even if I didn't touch her. But just to know she was there...
I planned, juggled stuff around, and ended up in France... Came back to NOT put my masters project together, but to actually tear it all appart in pieces, and recover the bits I wanted... Make my own path... Went around departments meeting people, knocking doors... That was fun.
I went to San Francisco, a job offer to consider... A great time over there, a confusing time on my mind...
I took a stance... I chose an interesting thesis project. I am working again doing cool contract jobs... Things are getting down to a point where I actually know what is going to happen next week... It's scary!... Heh...
... Whatever... Cold dark days make me think too much, and the lack of sun and warmth don't put me in the best of moods... I remember the beginning of this year, I remember some posts I wrote on this blog, and how back then, I as well... Was feeling the blues.
Heh... Fuck the blues.
See... Even as I write this I smile and realize how silly this sounds!... I am an optimist, and... All that... Right?... Just...
Honestly?... I was so busy with so many things going on, and so many things to worry about everyday... That it had not really REALLY hit me I guess... I mean, it did hit me... But now, there is no extra noise in my head, no other things to figure out or take care of.
Now, it's just me, my mind... My memories and nostalgia.
And you know what?... I miss her.
We talk so much, dream and laugh, and discuss and... Share... I feel her right now as the closest person to me, to my heart. Eventhough she is across the sea. Sigh... Think of her when I wake up, I really do... And miss her as I am falling asleep.
... sigh ...
See... Right now, my dreams, and hopes, and goals and whatever... They sound cool, they really do. But... Cool as something you see in a magazine, cool as something that "I know I should feel excited about"... But empty too. Like, a huge chunk of me is missing and none of it makes sense if I don't have it... If she is not here. If I can't share it with her.
Ah la la...
Albane... heh... it's a cute name... Goes well with her smile.
Now I will go to bed... Just wanted to rant about corny nostalgia and how much it hits and feels... About the fact that, no matter what I do during the day, I will go to bed thinking of her... Wishing she was at arm's distance... Even if I didn't touch her. But just to know she was there...
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Part 10/10. And now?...
And now?...
Well... Just as I said in that one post... This story is far far from over people. That makes me really smile... Going to France was just the writing of another chapter in the story of a silly Mexican guy, and a shy French girl, meeting in Canada and, against all odds, ending up together.
It was not chasing for an epilogue, and realizing how the story ends... It was creating more memories together, and a stronger bond...
Now?... While away, we both work to keep this story flowing... We both share that dream. ^__^
It was her turn to show me her world and her country... It was lovely and she showed me a great time... More of herself. Now it will be my turn to show her my world, my country... My streets, places and people...
Now it will be my turn to share more of my self with her, and heck... I will make sure she has the time of her life. :-)
Well... Just as I said in that one post... This story is far far from over people. That makes me really smile... Going to France was just the writing of another chapter in the story of a silly Mexican guy, and a shy French girl, meeting in Canada and, against all odds, ending up together.
It was not chasing for an epilogue, and realizing how the story ends... It was creating more memories together, and a stronger bond...
Now?... While away, we both work to keep this story flowing... We both share that dream. ^__^
It was her turn to show me her world and her country... It was lovely and she showed me a great time... More of herself. Now it will be my turn to show her my world, my country... My streets, places and people...
Now it will be my turn to share more of my self with her, and heck... I will make sure she has the time of her life. :-)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Part 9/10. The last week... The good-bye
The last week felt... I don't know. The last week felt like many things. One of them being, of course, too short. In one side I wanted to come back to Canada and fix up all the mess I had left behind, pick up the pieces of my masters project and make something out of it... On the other side, I didn't want to leave Albane.
It was hard, because she was so busy and, sometimes, I felt her distant... It may have all been in my head, and really school was taking the best of her time and mind... But I felt she was drawing a little away from me, almost as if wanting to protect herself from the good-bye soon to come...
I don't know... The memory of this week is weird and too filled with emotions, the memories of conversations we had, of feelings floating in the air... There was tension between us, we both knew the good-bye was coming and we both felt ackward and bad about it... About what would come next.
I did meet with some people, had a couple good nights with Cam and Pô, and Amelie and her friend... Hanging out with people, and sharing lovely times. But missing already Albane so much, we were still in the same city, and I was already feeling her away. It teared me apart in a gruesome way... In one of those ways you can only feel inside, but that really really suck...
... sigh...
I wasn't going to let this weird feelings cast a shadow on the last hours we were to share in France, and... Despite the work and all, we managed to have quality time together. Good times and awesome, and needed conversations... We shared everyday well into the night, despite the fact that she had classes so early the next day... Heh. Poor girl... She must have been so tired.
Friday we went for a beer with some of her cousins, and I got the chance to say "bye" to them... They were so kind and nice to me, made me feel so welcomed and, in just little time, made me feel like a friend and that I'd miss them. I said "bye" to Ophelie too...
I HATE saying "bye"...
...
Sigh...
Saturday was our last day together, we had a very good time. Even tried to be around the Bombay Indian Festival in Lille... It was huge event with too much people. Heh... I hate crowds. O.o At least we tried, right?... Of course, I preferred the intimacy of being only with her, than being squished around by hundreds of people in a parade!
We went back to her place... Shared some good times, smiled and laughed...
You know what sucks?...
Packing your things... Specially after so long, specially after you already had a spot for you in the closet, and one side of the bed felt like "your side"...
Packing in front of her as if saying "yes... this is really happening... after all, I am going to go"...
Ahhh... Those last few hours are filled with bitter sweet smiles and talks, hugs and kisses and watery eyes. I had made a trip not knowing what to expect, for the sake of love... For the sake of seeing her again. I had found a awesome travel partner, fun, good hearted girl, with a warmth that made me smile and feel good inside...
Fuck saying good-bye...
The TGV to Paris was surreal...
Being in the line, doing my check-in and having her waiting for me was surreal...
Being sitting in the airport next to her, holding her tight and close to me... Checking the time and realizing it was boarding time... Was surreal... It sucked. I couldn't believe it was happening, I didn't want it to be happening. I didn't want to go back to a reality in which she wasn't there...
...
We had time to get something to eat, and we got our stuff and made us a little picnic by a field in the airport... It was only us and a bunch of grass around us. We talked about whatevers and had our little bubble, ignoring really that I was about to leave...
...
It was boarding time... It was time for that wonderful hug, that lasts always way too little...
... And again, writing this posts makes me feel sad and nostalgic...
I hate that section in the airport in which only passengers can go through... Going through security and looking at her through a glass... Every time further away...
... The flight was much too long... I saw Groeland and icebergs... that was cool I guess...
After hours and hours... I arrived to Calgary, picked up my luggage and turned on my phone...
Right away it "ringed" telling me I had received a message... It was a message from Albane. My eyes went watery and my heart pumped hard, I smiled so so much...
It was hard, because she was so busy and, sometimes, I felt her distant... It may have all been in my head, and really school was taking the best of her time and mind... But I felt she was drawing a little away from me, almost as if wanting to protect herself from the good-bye soon to come...
I don't know... The memory of this week is weird and too filled with emotions, the memories of conversations we had, of feelings floating in the air... There was tension between us, we both knew the good-bye was coming and we both felt ackward and bad about it... About what would come next.
I did meet with some people, had a couple good nights with Cam and Pô, and Amelie and her friend... Hanging out with people, and sharing lovely times. But missing already Albane so much, we were still in the same city, and I was already feeling her away. It teared me apart in a gruesome way... In one of those ways you can only feel inside, but that really really suck...
... sigh...
I wasn't going to let this weird feelings cast a shadow on the last hours we were to share in France, and... Despite the work and all, we managed to have quality time together. Good times and awesome, and needed conversations... We shared everyday well into the night, despite the fact that she had classes so early the next day... Heh. Poor girl... She must have been so tired.
Friday we went for a beer with some of her cousins, and I got the chance to say "bye" to them... They were so kind and nice to me, made me feel so welcomed and, in just little time, made me feel like a friend and that I'd miss them. I said "bye" to Ophelie too...
I HATE saying "bye"...
...
Sigh...
Saturday was our last day together, we had a very good time. Even tried to be around the Bombay Indian Festival in Lille... It was huge event with too much people. Heh... I hate crowds. O.o At least we tried, right?... Of course, I preferred the intimacy of being only with her, than being squished around by hundreds of people in a parade!
We went back to her place... Shared some good times, smiled and laughed...
You know what sucks?...
Packing your things... Specially after so long, specially after you already had a spot for you in the closet, and one side of the bed felt like "your side"...
Packing in front of her as if saying "yes... this is really happening... after all, I am going to go"...
Ahhh... Those last few hours are filled with bitter sweet smiles and talks, hugs and kisses and watery eyes. I had made a trip not knowing what to expect, for the sake of love... For the sake of seeing her again. I had found a awesome travel partner, fun, good hearted girl, with a warmth that made me smile and feel good inside...
Fuck saying good-bye...
The TGV to Paris was surreal...
Being in the line, doing my check-in and having her waiting for me was surreal...
Being sitting in the airport next to her, holding her tight and close to me... Checking the time and realizing it was boarding time... Was surreal... It sucked. I couldn't believe it was happening, I didn't want it to be happening. I didn't want to go back to a reality in which she wasn't there...
...
We had time to get something to eat, and we got our stuff and made us a little picnic by a field in the airport... It was only us and a bunch of grass around us. We talked about whatevers and had our little bubble, ignoring really that I was about to leave...
...
It was boarding time... It was time for that wonderful hug, that lasts always way too little...
... And again, writing this posts makes me feel sad and nostalgic...
I hate that section in the airport in which only passengers can go through... Going through security and looking at her through a glass... Every time further away...
... The flight was much too long... I saw Groeland and icebergs... that was cool I guess...
After hours and hours... I arrived to Calgary, picked up my luggage and turned on my phone...
Right away it "ringed" telling me I had received a message... It was a message from Albane. My eyes went watery and my heart pumped hard, I smiled so so much...
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It's that time of the year
already...
At 5:00 pm, I feel we are in the middle of the night, and I should be either sleeping, or doing some other nightly activity. [Nightly activities range from reading good stuff in my bed, to be out in a bar having beers and good times... Definitely, not working or reading for my thesis].
... Yet... It's 5:35... Completely dark, and I KNOW I have a long way to go before I am done with all my work. See... I claim I love working during the night, I am a night-person... Bla bla bla. I should be thrilled... Right?...
No... I'm not.
The bit about working during the night that I like, is it's quietness... No one even is on msn, the streets are dead and I feel the righteous owner of the stage... No distractions, the lights in the offices of the building across the street are off.
Now?... They are on, and I can see people working. Cars drive around the street and life keeps on going, just as if there was sunlight. But there isn't... It feels wrong.
It will feel wrong for several months. No matter how long, it's probably the one thing I can't and won't get used to. It's freaking 5!... There is supposed to be light out.
** Sigh **
At 5:00 pm, I feel we are in the middle of the night, and I should be either sleeping, or doing some other nightly activity. [Nightly activities range from reading good stuff in my bed, to be out in a bar having beers and good times... Definitely, not working or reading for my thesis].
... Yet... It's 5:35... Completely dark, and I KNOW I have a long way to go before I am done with all my work. See... I claim I love working during the night, I am a night-person... Bla bla bla. I should be thrilled... Right?...
No... I'm not.
The bit about working during the night that I like, is it's quietness... No one even is on msn, the streets are dead and I feel the righteous owner of the stage... No distractions, the lights in the offices of the building across the street are off.
Now?... They are on, and I can see people working. Cars drive around the street and life keeps on going, just as if there was sunlight. But there isn't... It feels wrong.
It will feel wrong for several months. No matter how long, it's probably the one thing I can't and won't get used to. It's freaking 5!... There is supposed to be light out.
** Sigh **
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Lately
i have been working on this blog... Really. Even if you see no posts!. Soon, the entire damn thing will change a lot... Heh. And I hope it will be for good. I plan to make www.spacingout.net more than my blog, but my online portfolio and all this things...
So... I'm on that... And, to summarize... Life still goes well!.
Cheers!
So... I'm on that... And, to summarize... Life still goes well!.
Cheers!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I am not a TV fan...
It has happened, since 2001... That I really don't watch a lot of TV. I may have started sort of like and accident... But then I really got into it, and enjoyed it. Yes, I enjoyed the not watching it... Because then, if I was not spending all this hours in front of the TV, it only meant I was doing something else...
2001?... Wow... It sounds like exaggerating but... Let me see. In 2001 I went as an exchange student to Macomb, this silly little town close to Chicago... I was there for a year, and I owned no tv. Buying one didn't seem like a good investment after all, and I used most of my extra money on books or comics... Well, not really... It was on beer and booze. Then, the very very extra was on books. Heh.
So, after my exchange I go back to Mexico, to this new house in a lovely place close to the mountains... As lovely as it is, it means that to get TV you need satellite. Too far away for a cable company to care, and too surrounded by mountains to get any "air" signal... Satellite it was, yet we only got one thingy... Which meant, only one way to change the channels and what was seen on one TV, could be seen on all of them.
... My mom is the Queen of the TV... So... Not a lot of TV there...
Heh... And now?... Canada?... OF COURSE I wasn't going to buy one!. After 5 years of being perfectly happy without one?. And believe me, it's not boring!. He he he... I remember Kike, when he moved into our house, he said "living with the Padilla's makes you enjoy reading"... Or, any other hobby for that matter.
I am happy. :-)
Sometimes I enjoy a movie, and rent them. For that, I wish I had a TV device, yet not the cable or stuff... Anyway... There was a point to this post. The point is, as much as I think TV is highly over rated, and isn't all that great... Sometimes comes a TV series that reaaaaally hooks me in. That makes me wish I had one, and I could follow it closely...
It happened with Lost... Coupling, Firefly, and believe it or not, with Desperate Housewives too...Thankfully, most of this you can get one way or the other... Online, rent, buy... I have done all of this. Heh... Now though, I have to admit, I have been hooked again. This TV series rocks... Really, if you have the time, DO follow Heroes...
And don't get turned off by the "comic book" feeling or super power extravaganza... Yes, it happens they have powers, but the series is very well put together and, honestly, I bet non fiction lovers (or sci-fi haters for that matter), would find it interesting, very.
So... Download it if you have missed some episodes, follow it on TV if you have the chance... Whatever. It's good.
2001?... Wow... It sounds like exaggerating but... Let me see. In 2001 I went as an exchange student to Macomb, this silly little town close to Chicago... I was there for a year, and I owned no tv. Buying one didn't seem like a good investment after all, and I used most of my extra money on books or comics... Well, not really... It was on beer and booze. Then, the very very extra was on books. Heh.
So, after my exchange I go back to Mexico, to this new house in a lovely place close to the mountains... As lovely as it is, it means that to get TV you need satellite. Too far away for a cable company to care, and too surrounded by mountains to get any "air" signal... Satellite it was, yet we only got one thingy... Which meant, only one way to change the channels and what was seen on one TV, could be seen on all of them.
... My mom is the Queen of the TV... So... Not a lot of TV there...
Heh... And now?... Canada?... OF COURSE I wasn't going to buy one!. After 5 years of being perfectly happy without one?. And believe me, it's not boring!. He he he... I remember Kike, when he moved into our house, he said "living with the Padilla's makes you enjoy reading"... Or, any other hobby for that matter.
I am happy. :-)
Sometimes I enjoy a movie, and rent them. For that, I wish I had a TV device, yet not the cable or stuff... Anyway... There was a point to this post. The point is, as much as I think TV is highly over rated, and isn't all that great... Sometimes comes a TV series that reaaaaally hooks me in. That makes me wish I had one, and I could follow it closely...
It happened with Lost... Coupling, Firefly, and believe it or not, with Desperate Housewives too...Thankfully, most of this you can get one way or the other... Online, rent, buy... I have done all of this. Heh... Now though, I have to admit, I have been hooked again. This TV series rocks... Really, if you have the time, DO follow Heroes...
And don't get turned off by the "comic book" feeling or super power extravaganza... Yes, it happens they have powers, but the series is very well put together and, honestly, I bet non fiction lovers (or sci-fi haters for that matter), would find it interesting, very.
So... Download it if you have missed some episodes, follow it on TV if you have the chance... Whatever. It's good.
Part 8/10. Meet the family...
Usually meeting the family is hard enough... I mean, there is some level of challenge and nervousness that is hard to ignore. This people are important to the girl, and she is important to you... So... You REALLY hope they will like you and give some sort of "thumbs up"... No?... OF COURSE...
This was the case with Albane's family... But... Add a couple of elements. 1) I was going to stay in her mom's house for the weekend. Not a simple dinner, hello-bye environment... I was going to stay there. And 2)... French?... As much as I try to, my French isn't all that good!. I rely on my communication skills for people to like me!, how... HOW?!...
He he he...
Either way... We went to Albane's house for the Weekend (or her mom's, however you want to see it). I ended up driving because Albane had a horrible Torticolis and it was hard to look at anything other than the ground... Kind of. During that day, when we went to school, I laughed so much of how she looked!... He he he. Mmmmh... I think she didn't appreciate that. O.o
[note: Albane sais she didn't get mad... riiiiight. Ok... Maybe "mad" is not the right word... Heh. But she was like -it's not nice!- and... Ehem... Anyway, I felt guilty... ok?. ^__^]
We arrived late, because she had some training or meeting regarding a new project, but in time for dinner!. I walked out of the drivers seat, and her mom was there!. Albane was so happy saying hi to her dog (Tara)... And her mom too, I guess... Heh. Anyway, I walked close to her mom and she smiled a lot and greeted me nicely... I felt welcomed.
Nervousness faded... I knew everything was going to be ok. ^__^
Meeting her mom, and her sister Xav was nice... They both spoke in English to me!, heh, and I did a fair attempt to speak in french. They were kind and said my french was very good! Heh... I was silly, of course, and made mistakes... I referred to her mom with "toi" instead of "vous"... Etc... Not a big deal!. We had dinner together, set the room in which Albane and I were going to stay... And had a very fun conversation!. It was nice to talk to Xav in person too, since we talked a lot on msn before... I felt comfortable and happy to be there!.
Later that night, Albane told me that when I went to the bathroom, her mom said I was so nice and all this good things... YES!. Albane, on the mean time, still suffered from the torticolis... He he he... Specially since she was so happy to see her dog, that she played like crazy with her and forgot all about "taking care" and "not making sudden movements"... He he he.
And so the weekend went... It was very very nice. The only time in which I really felt a tad nervous was when I meet Albane's father. Saturday we had lunch at her mom's place... Food there was always so good!. ** sigh **, and later Albane wanted to visit her grandma, from her Dad's side... So we went there... Little did I know, her father planned to visit too!. I wasn't mentally prepared for that!... O.o
Ehem... Anyway, we arrived there and she lives in a lovely flat some floors above the ground. Actually, it was funny, I pretended I was going to sit by the balcony and Albane totally freaked out!!!... He he he. You should have seen her face... Awwww... Poor girl. Heh.
So, we were having this nice talk and pastries, when her dad called saying he was going to show up. ** gulp **. For some reason, as grateful as I was to him for letting us stay in all this wonderful places, I had just felt I was going to not meet him, and that sounded sort of relieving... I mean, I do good with moms. They are girls, after all... Heh. But the Dad?... Sigh, they always make me nervous... They ARE guys, and they know what we -guys- are thinking when we are with their girls... ehem... Yes, THAT is what I mean.
It wasn't bad.
Really, it was good!. Albane had told me before he was quite serious, which he indeed is, but we had a decent conversation, and with my fractured french I was able to talk both to him and the grandma... While entertaining the dog so it wouldn't bark (silly little dogs that bark so much with a high pitch!!... grrr)... O.o He he he. At the end though, it was nice. I felt happy to meet her Dad and good about the talk we had. ^__^
Later?... Ah yes... We went to Moins!... Beautiful little town in Belgium!. (I told you, Belgium really is around the corner, and with the EU thing, you just drive along... No borders or anything). Albane worked in a cute little clothing store for kids, and she wanted to show me around. I really liked it!. Little town with great architecture, pretty downtown, and lovely feeling to it. We were lucky since there was some sort of Veggie-Fair, so we saw odd shaped carrots, pumpkins and potatoes... he he he. Albane was given a carrot, that was modded into becoming a flute, and it just became an item of amusement for days to come. I get the idea Belgium is a beautiful country.
... Was it Moins?. I really never know how to write this things... If you read "Moins" attempting to sound french, I believe the town's name sounded sort of like that. Heh. Anyway, we walked around, had a beer, and headed back to her place for dinner.
Raquellette!... (again, who cares about spelling?)... Yummy delicious thing... ** sigh ** At this point, stronger cheeses were growing on me, and I really enjoyed the concept of this slower meal... Although, for us was kind of fast!. We wanted to make it to the movies... The movie?... ** sigh **. No no no... After I read the book "The Perfume" I knew it was great, yet impossible to make a movie about it... Even Kubrick called it the "un-filmable book"... Scorsese and even Tim Burton considered, and thought better of it... They all were right... It was a good attempt I guess, but it fails horribly short, and at the end feels just... Ackward!.
He he he... Albane and her mom made a lot of fun of it... La la laaa...
That night we just came back after the movie and chilled. Albane, Xav and me had a silly conversation, and I made a drawing for Xav. It was going to be a cute drawing at first, about a guy hanging by a tree in a park. But then, I thought better and I cut his arms right off, made him sad, and untied his shoes!... He he he. It was horribly cute, and sad!!... The kid was sad because, since he had no arms, he couldn't tie his shoes and play with his dog... He he he...
I felt VERY shy when Xav wanted to show the drawing to her mom!... Not because it was a bad drawing, but because it portrayed a horribly black sense of humor!... O.o ... The mom loved it... He he he. ^__^
...
Sunday?... The time to meet her grandparents!!!... At this point I was already very comfortable with her mom and Xav (sister), joked and laughed a lot, and just silly good times. And I was really excited about meeting her grandparents because she had told me, many times, how important they were for her!... So... There we were.
They live further away from the city, in Mexico we would say "en el campo"... In a lovely house right next to a forest. And really, they are the nicest couple ever!. They had just come back from a trip, and they were tired... Yet they welcomed us with such a smile, and were so kind with Albane and Xav!... And me?, they made me feel quite welcomed too, talking and asking cool questions, etc. At this point, as much as I made mistakes, I just kept talking French as if I knew what I was doing... He he he. And my listening really isn't bad, so it was cool!.
Albane and I had a nice walk by the forest, we fed the chicken, and walked around looking for Deers... I believe we saw one, jumping far away... That, or a hare... Heh. The weather was beautiful and... It felt so good to be there.
Back in the house, we all chilled by the living room and had a warm drink. I had chocolate and tasty biscuits... At this point, we were just chatting away, talking about whatever, books, Mexico, my brother... I don't know!. And then, Albane's mom starts talking about the drawing I made for Xaviera!... O.o
She starts saying how great of a drawing it was, and how fast I had drawn it, and talking about my drawing skills as if I was so good!... (I was getting self conscious... of course!). What happened?... Well, her grandma had to see!... Of courrrse!.
She went to pick some paper, a pencil, and told me... "ok ok, now I have to see... Draw something for me!"... WHAT?!... O.o NOW I was self-conscious... ** sigh **
So, here I was, sitting on a chair with a blank piece of paper in front of me, a pencil, and an audience... Now, everyone who draws knows it's hard to come up with some cool idea to draw... Right?... It's even harder with 3 women looking at you with expectation!... and EVEN HARDER if this 3 women are your girl, her mom, and her mom's mom...
He he he...
Anyway... I decided to draw a cute little girl, crouching to point to a lady-bug... Why?... The reason is quite silly, but it was completely inspired on Albane. She had done something quite quite similar, in the exact same position, two times by now. Once in Edmonton, looking at a shinny beetle... he he he, and the other time in Fayence looking at a Mantis... Same cute position and expression of awe in her face... So, I drew a little girl version of that, and a lady-bug instead of a Mantis... More cute I though. :-P
Her grandma loved it!... I sighed with relief...
It seems, she liked it so much, and days after she kept showing it to the people that visited her house, saying it was me, Albane's boyfriend, who had done it... he he he. Albane told me this smiling with an expression of amusement and pride. Awww.
Later that day we stayed in her mom's place, some women came (mom's friends) and we all had drinks and snacks together. Good conversation and environment. At some point they said -bye- and we had dinner... YUMMY again... Tartiflette this time. ** sigh **. I knew I was going to miss this food. And the coffee, always good coffee in her house after each meal!!... And the garden!... Lovely garden in the back, quite large with swings!... YES!... SWINGS!!... He he he.
So, the time came to say "good-bye" and head back to Lille... I was almost sad to say "bye". They were so kind!
It was a great great weekend. I felt very happy with how everything was, and how I related with all the people I meet. And, having being around them, Mom, sister, grandparents and even her Dad, now I felt closer to Albane in a very nice way. ^__^
I drove back to Lille, Albane still had some Torticolis!... he he he.
That night, before bed, Albane told me she had talked to her mom, and she said I was such a great guy!...
Nice... I guess I did get the "thumbs up" at the end. ;-)
This was the case with Albane's family... But... Add a couple of elements. 1) I was going to stay in her mom's house for the weekend. Not a simple dinner, hello-bye environment... I was going to stay there. And 2)... French?... As much as I try to, my French isn't all that good!. I rely on my communication skills for people to like me!, how... HOW?!...
He he he...
Either way... We went to Albane's house for the Weekend (or her mom's, however you want to see it). I ended up driving because Albane had a horrible Torticolis and it was hard to look at anything other than the ground... Kind of. During that day, when we went to school, I laughed so much of how she looked!... He he he. Mmmmh... I think she didn't appreciate that. O.o
[note: Albane sais she didn't get mad... riiiiight. Ok... Maybe "mad" is not the right word... Heh. But she was like -it's not nice!- and... Ehem... Anyway, I felt guilty... ok?. ^__^]
We arrived late, because she had some training or meeting regarding a new project, but in time for dinner!. I walked out of the drivers seat, and her mom was there!. Albane was so happy saying hi to her dog (Tara)... And her mom too, I guess... Heh. Anyway, I walked close to her mom and she smiled a lot and greeted me nicely... I felt welcomed.
Nervousness faded... I knew everything was going to be ok. ^__^
Meeting her mom, and her sister Xav was nice... They both spoke in English to me!, heh, and I did a fair attempt to speak in french. They were kind and said my french was very good! Heh... I was silly, of course, and made mistakes... I referred to her mom with "toi" instead of "vous"... Etc... Not a big deal!. We had dinner together, set the room in which Albane and I were going to stay... And had a very fun conversation!. It was nice to talk to Xav in person too, since we talked a lot on msn before... I felt comfortable and happy to be there!.
Later that night, Albane told me that when I went to the bathroom, her mom said I was so nice and all this good things... YES!. Albane, on the mean time, still suffered from the torticolis... He he he... Specially since she was so happy to see her dog, that she played like crazy with her and forgot all about "taking care" and "not making sudden movements"... He he he.
And so the weekend went... It was very very nice. The only time in which I really felt a tad nervous was when I meet Albane's father. Saturday we had lunch at her mom's place... Food there was always so good!. ** sigh **, and later Albane wanted to visit her grandma, from her Dad's side... So we went there... Little did I know, her father planned to visit too!. I wasn't mentally prepared for that!... O.o
Ehem... Anyway, we arrived there and she lives in a lovely flat some floors above the ground. Actually, it was funny, I pretended I was going to sit by the balcony and Albane totally freaked out!!!... He he he. You should have seen her face... Awwww... Poor girl. Heh.
So, we were having this nice talk and pastries, when her dad called saying he was going to show up. ** gulp **. For some reason, as grateful as I was to him for letting us stay in all this wonderful places, I had just felt I was going to not meet him, and that sounded sort of relieving... I mean, I do good with moms. They are girls, after all... Heh. But the Dad?... Sigh, they always make me nervous... They ARE guys, and they know what we -guys- are thinking when we are with their girls... ehem... Yes, THAT is what I mean.
It wasn't bad.
Really, it was good!. Albane had told me before he was quite serious, which he indeed is, but we had a decent conversation, and with my fractured french I was able to talk both to him and the grandma... While entertaining the dog so it wouldn't bark (silly little dogs that bark so much with a high pitch!!... grrr)... O.o He he he. At the end though, it was nice. I felt happy to meet her Dad and good about the talk we had. ^__^
Later?... Ah yes... We went to Moins!... Beautiful little town in Belgium!. (I told you, Belgium really is around the corner, and with the EU thing, you just drive along... No borders or anything). Albane worked in a cute little clothing store for kids, and she wanted to show me around. I really liked it!. Little town with great architecture, pretty downtown, and lovely feeling to it. We were lucky since there was some sort of Veggie-Fair, so we saw odd shaped carrots, pumpkins and potatoes... he he he. Albane was given a carrot, that was modded into becoming a flute, and it just became an item of amusement for days to come. I get the idea Belgium is a beautiful country.
... Was it Moins?. I really never know how to write this things... If you read "Moins" attempting to sound french, I believe the town's name sounded sort of like that. Heh. Anyway, we walked around, had a beer, and headed back to her place for dinner.
Raquellette!... (again, who cares about spelling?)... Yummy delicious thing... ** sigh ** At this point, stronger cheeses were growing on me, and I really enjoyed the concept of this slower meal... Although, for us was kind of fast!. We wanted to make it to the movies... The movie?... ** sigh **. No no no... After I read the book "The Perfume" I knew it was great, yet impossible to make a movie about it... Even Kubrick called it the "un-filmable book"... Scorsese and even Tim Burton considered, and thought better of it... They all were right... It was a good attempt I guess, but it fails horribly short, and at the end feels just... Ackward!.
He he he... Albane and her mom made a lot of fun of it... La la laaa...
That night we just came back after the movie and chilled. Albane, Xav and me had a silly conversation, and I made a drawing for Xav. It was going to be a cute drawing at first, about a guy hanging by a tree in a park. But then, I thought better and I cut his arms right off, made him sad, and untied his shoes!... He he he. It was horribly cute, and sad!!... The kid was sad because, since he had no arms, he couldn't tie his shoes and play with his dog... He he he...
I felt VERY shy when Xav wanted to show the drawing to her mom!... Not because it was a bad drawing, but because it portrayed a horribly black sense of humor!... O.o ... The mom loved it... He he he. ^__^
...
Sunday?... The time to meet her grandparents!!!... At this point I was already very comfortable with her mom and Xav (sister), joked and laughed a lot, and just silly good times. And I was really excited about meeting her grandparents because she had told me, many times, how important they were for her!... So... There we were.
They live further away from the city, in Mexico we would say "en el campo"... In a lovely house right next to a forest. And really, they are the nicest couple ever!. They had just come back from a trip, and they were tired... Yet they welcomed us with such a smile, and were so kind with Albane and Xav!... And me?, they made me feel quite welcomed too, talking and asking cool questions, etc. At this point, as much as I made mistakes, I just kept talking French as if I knew what I was doing... He he he. And my listening really isn't bad, so it was cool!.
Albane and I had a nice walk by the forest, we fed the chicken, and walked around looking for Deers... I believe we saw one, jumping far away... That, or a hare... Heh. The weather was beautiful and... It felt so good to be there.
Back in the house, we all chilled by the living room and had a warm drink. I had chocolate and tasty biscuits... At this point, we were just chatting away, talking about whatever, books, Mexico, my brother... I don't know!. And then, Albane's mom starts talking about the drawing I made for Xaviera!... O.o
She starts saying how great of a drawing it was, and how fast I had drawn it, and talking about my drawing skills as if I was so good!... (I was getting self conscious... of course!). What happened?... Well, her grandma had to see!... Of courrrse!.
She went to pick some paper, a pencil, and told me... "ok ok, now I have to see... Draw something for me!"... WHAT?!... O.o NOW I was self-conscious... ** sigh **
So, here I was, sitting on a chair with a blank piece of paper in front of me, a pencil, and an audience... Now, everyone who draws knows it's hard to come up with some cool idea to draw... Right?... It's even harder with 3 women looking at you with expectation!... and EVEN HARDER if this 3 women are your girl, her mom, and her mom's mom...
He he he...
Anyway... I decided to draw a cute little girl, crouching to point to a lady-bug... Why?... The reason is quite silly, but it was completely inspired on Albane. She had done something quite quite similar, in the exact same position, two times by now. Once in Edmonton, looking at a shinny beetle... he he he, and the other time in Fayence looking at a Mantis... Same cute position and expression of awe in her face... So, I drew a little girl version of that, and a lady-bug instead of a Mantis... More cute I though. :-P
Her grandma loved it!... I sighed with relief...
It seems, she liked it so much, and days after she kept showing it to the people that visited her house, saying it was me, Albane's boyfriend, who had done it... he he he. Albane told me this smiling with an expression of amusement and pride. Awww.
Later that day we stayed in her mom's place, some women came (mom's friends) and we all had drinks and snacks together. Good conversation and environment. At some point they said -bye- and we had dinner... YUMMY again... Tartiflette this time. ** sigh **. I knew I was going to miss this food. And the coffee, always good coffee in her house after each meal!!... And the garden!... Lovely garden in the back, quite large with swings!... YES!... SWINGS!!... He he he.
So, the time came to say "good-bye" and head back to Lille... I was almost sad to say "bye". They were so kind!
It was a great great weekend. I felt very happy with how everything was, and how I related with all the people I meet. And, having being around them, Mom, sister, grandparents and even her Dad, now I felt closer to Albane in a very nice way. ^__^
I drove back to Lille, Albane still had some Torticolis!... he he he.
That night, before bed, Albane told me she had talked to her mom, and she said I was such a great guy!...
Nice... I guess I did get the "thumbs up" at the end. ;-)
Friday, November 03, 2006
LET GO...
Let go...
Chill... It's ok... Just... Take a stance, and walk your path. Don't look back...
I said... DON'T LOOK BACK...
Regrets are bad... You've made your choice, it's the best one ever. It will lead to a good spot. You will be happy walking this path. But you have to let it fullfil you... Stop thinking about the Paths you've left behind, the lives you could have lived... Focus on the now... On the decision you've made and let it show you it was the BEST one ever...
Rest assured...
Really... You have nothing to worry about, just a heck of a lot of good times to look forward to.
... =)
Chill... It's ok... Just... Take a stance, and walk your path. Don't look back...
I said... DON'T LOOK BACK...
Regrets are bad... You've made your choice, it's the best one ever. It will lead to a good spot. You will be happy walking this path. But you have to let it fullfil you... Stop thinking about the Paths you've left behind, the lives you could have lived... Focus on the now... On the decision you've made and let it show you it was the BEST one ever...
Rest assured...
Really... You have nothing to worry about, just a heck of a lot of good times to look forward to.
... =)
A questions to the medically savy...
Why is it that, through the day, I can feel 'quite-ok' yet... When it's time to go to bed and SLEEP is when the flu really kicks in?!?!... As if, the goal of the damn thing is to deprive me of quality rest... Is it the laying down position?... Is it... Yeah... The laying down position?... O.o
... sigh ...
... sigh ...
Thursday, November 02, 2006
How to...
not choose from fear?...
I am in the midst of making a choice... That is good. Both paths seem interesting, no decision could really go wrong. This is the thing... I notice I am making the choice from a FEAR stand point... That sucks!.
Either the fear of loosing this, or the fear of loosing that... The fear of regrets for this, or that... O.o Fears suck... I want to make a choice that - feels good - just because it feels freaking good. Not because I am afraid to regret not taking it...
Just... Making everything shut up in my brain... And listen to the subtle whispers of my guts... And trust them. I usually do, and they usually turn out right... Now there is so much noise.
Heh... This should be easy... I usually just know what I want, and do it... I wonder why there is so much noise... Maybe I feel the choice will affect too much my life?. Maybe I should take it more careless, and be willing to jump into the abyss... See where I end up.
... Maybe I should read my self the Tarot. Heh.
Oh well... It will work out, as it always does... ^__^
I am in the midst of making a choice... That is good. Both paths seem interesting, no decision could really go wrong. This is the thing... I notice I am making the choice from a FEAR stand point... That sucks!.
Either the fear of loosing this, or the fear of loosing that... The fear of regrets for this, or that... O.o Fears suck... I want to make a choice that - feels good - just because it feels freaking good. Not because I am afraid to regret not taking it...
Just... Making everything shut up in my brain... And listen to the subtle whispers of my guts... And trust them. I usually do, and they usually turn out right... Now there is so much noise.
Heh... This should be easy... I usually just know what I want, and do it... I wonder why there is so much noise... Maybe I feel the choice will affect too much my life?. Maybe I should take it more careless, and be willing to jump into the abyss... See where I end up.
... Maybe I should read my self the Tarot. Heh.
Oh well... It will work out, as it always does... ^__^
Some days I wake up dreaming...
Lately, as my mom widely said, I have had a reason to be stressed and in mental conflict all the time... For too long now. There has a been a reason to worry, a choice to make... Am I looking for this?... ** sigh **
Canada is now cold... VERY cold... -16 kind of, and snow all over the place. Last year my brother was pissed of because, close to Christmas, Edmonton still was warm and snow had not find a way to stick around... They say this winter will be much harsher. Heh. I am NOT looking forward to it.
Anyway... I want some mental peace for once. Just... Chill and not think about choices, choices, choices... I have said, before, how much simpler life was when I was a kid... Just pick the flavor of ice-cream and the channel to watch the cartoons... Now, I have to pick Paths that will shape my life... And be able to do it with no regrets.
... And lately I really am not attracted to drink a lot... Heh. I think that night with Albane in France, when I got too drunk, has made me want to stay away from alcohol for a while. Which means I cannot avoid mental confusion with drunkenness... Gotta face it.
Heh... I have until Monday to make an interesting choice...
Sigh...
The good thing is that, once I make it... I will just stick to it and move on...
Right?
ps. Thanks friends, Albane, and family... that have been hearing waaaay too much about it all lately... But have lent an ear, and given good opinions about everything... Thanks Sergio for the opportunity, and thanks Jonathan for opening cool doors in my Masters project...
Really... I can't complain. My choices are all good, and they all lead to good places... I just have to let go of other paths, and commit to one.
... awesome song:
Have it All
- by Jeremy Kay
Some days I feel like crying
It don't matter if it's rain or shine
I feel like my heart was broken
At least a million times
Some days I wake up dreaming
Feels like I've never even woke
I answer life's big questions
As if it's one big joke
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
Some days I feel like singing
I sit back and just groove the day away
Maybe pick up a guitar
And play what I want to play
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
Today I feel like laughing
Seems to be no reason at all
And if the world stops spinning
I'm not afraid to fall
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
Canada is now cold... VERY cold... -16 kind of, and snow all over the place. Last year my brother was pissed of because, close to Christmas, Edmonton still was warm and snow had not find a way to stick around... They say this winter will be much harsher. Heh. I am NOT looking forward to it.
Anyway... I want some mental peace for once. Just... Chill and not think about choices, choices, choices... I have said, before, how much simpler life was when I was a kid... Just pick the flavor of ice-cream and the channel to watch the cartoons... Now, I have to pick Paths that will shape my life... And be able to do it with no regrets.
... And lately I really am not attracted to drink a lot... Heh. I think that night with Albane in France, when I got too drunk, has made me want to stay away from alcohol for a while. Which means I cannot avoid mental confusion with drunkenness... Gotta face it.
Heh... I have until Monday to make an interesting choice...
Sigh...
The good thing is that, once I make it... I will just stick to it and move on...
Right?
ps. Thanks friends, Albane, and family... that have been hearing waaaay too much about it all lately... But have lent an ear, and given good opinions about everything... Thanks Sergio for the opportunity, and thanks Jonathan for opening cool doors in my Masters project...
Really... I can't complain. My choices are all good, and they all lead to good places... I just have to let go of other paths, and commit to one.
... awesome song:
Have it All
- by Jeremy Kay
Some days I feel like crying
It don't matter if it's rain or shine
I feel like my heart was broken
At least a million times
Some days I wake up dreaming
Feels like I've never even woke
I answer life's big questions
As if it's one big joke
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
Some days I feel like singing
I sit back and just groove the day away
Maybe pick up a guitar
And play what I want to play
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
Today I feel like laughing
Seems to be no reason at all
And if the world stops spinning
I'm not afraid to fall
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on
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