by the way... I found out that my "tree" according to the Celtic Tradition is the "Olmo"...
This would be the entry:
ARBOL DEL OLMO (la Mentalidad Noble) - de figura agradable,
buen gusto en el vestir, de exigencias modestas, tiende a no olvidar los
errores, alegre, le gusta mandar pero no obedecer, es una pareja
honesta y fiel, le gusta tomar decisiones por los demás, de mentalidad
noble, generosa, con buen sentido del humor, práctica.
sera?...
Friday, February 28, 2003
Now I find my self very interested, in a messed up way, about this "pollo and karen" story... (eipipuz.blogspot.com)... mmm... reading someone's blog is deffinitelly a fun way to start the day!!...
Cool, I just found out that the "ficcus project" may still happen, which means quite some "unpaid" work!!... yipieee!!... he he he... yet it's fun and supposedly it will makes us all earn some good cash once the project starts rolling.
Yesterday was a very very good day... cannot really pin point why but I liked it... classes were great and fun (which is not that common), I played good magic, I had a fun lunch with Pollo, got a bunch of stuff done about this "Euro-CD", and went to my Reiki class. That my friends was awesome... Well, to begin with I arrived there early, and lolita started joking a little with me and about the fact that her daughter wanted to get my phone number, and she almost begged lolita to pleeeease get it from me!!... ha ha ha... now that was fun!. (lolita is a very spiritual, interesting woman, her daughter is as interesting too, he he he... and just the thought of that joke is funny)...
The class went great and we learned a lot about the handling of energies... it was very interesting when we were asked to "feel" certain problems with the aura of someone, yet we were not told what we would feel or where. By the end I was like "dude!, I deffinitelly felt this and this, there and there"... but I didn't know if I was right. Then lolita said what we were supposed to feel and where, wow!!... "i got it right!!"... it's great!!... This kinds of things are hard to explain... it's energy... you feel it... it's awesome.
By the end I had to direct the group meditation, and so I did... I ended with my tipical "chido" instead of the well known "asi sea, asi se haga, así se hará"... they all laughed... and by the end of that lolita said "mmm, now I will charge my daugher even more for that phone number of yours!"... he he he... it seems that she wants to invite me dance or something like that.
Cool, I just found out that the "ficcus project" may still happen, which means quite some "unpaid" work!!... yipieee!!... he he he... yet it's fun and supposedly it will makes us all earn some good cash once the project starts rolling.
Yesterday was a very very good day... cannot really pin point why but I liked it... classes were great and fun (which is not that common), I played good magic, I had a fun lunch with Pollo, got a bunch of stuff done about this "Euro-CD", and went to my Reiki class. That my friends was awesome... Well, to begin with I arrived there early, and lolita started joking a little with me and about the fact that her daughter wanted to get my phone number, and she almost begged lolita to pleeeease get it from me!!... ha ha ha... now that was fun!. (lolita is a very spiritual, interesting woman, her daughter is as interesting too, he he he... and just the thought of that joke is funny)...
The class went great and we learned a lot about the handling of energies... it was very interesting when we were asked to "feel" certain problems with the aura of someone, yet we were not told what we would feel or where. By the end I was like "dude!, I deffinitelly felt this and this, there and there"... but I didn't know if I was right. Then lolita said what we were supposed to feel and where, wow!!... "i got it right!!"... it's great!!... This kinds of things are hard to explain... it's energy... you feel it... it's awesome.
By the end I had to direct the group meditation, and so I did... I ended with my tipical "chido" instead of the well known "asi sea, asi se haga, así se hará"... they all laughed... and by the end of that lolita said "mmm, now I will charge my daugher even more for that phone number of yours!"... he he he... it seems that she wants to invite me dance or something like that.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
To be awake...
just being asleep would be sooo much easier.
What is it to be awake?... am I awake?... at least a little... a little more than most people I am sure... why did I woke up?.
Do I like being awake?... would I rather be asleep like everyone else?...
I was talking about such things once with Allan, and more recently with Daniel... they both think in a similar way about this... something happened to us, at some point in our lives, because of the context that we were living and such, that made us "different" than the bunch... I don't want to put my self in a "separate privileged group"... so far I don't know if I am priviliged because of this... yet I can really pin point so many differences among me and most people.
Interestingly enough I've managed to meet quite a few "like me"... like for some reason we "see it" in the eyes of those who are awake... we recognize each other, we even nod sometimes as we walk by someone with those eyes in the street. Talking to this people is so much fun, so interesting... so deep. It can be hours and hours about "stuff" that most people will find rather boring or useless... yet it's philosophy... about the very human nature of who we are, what we want and desire... our drives in life and such.
To be awake is to want more... much more. You see life in a special way, with the eyes of that person who can stay for hours looking at a tree and finding something amazing every minute of the experience... it's about "sensing" everything to an extreme, the smells, the touch, the looks... to experience life in wonderful proportions, in ways that most people just won't get... when we hurt, we hurt a lot, and we hurt for real... because having that "increased" sense of life, increases all feelings... those of joy and those of sorrow... and the interesting part is that we enjoy all those feelings, embrace them (even the pain), and try to learn from them... rejoice in the fact that we are "feeling something new" and see how it will "change us".
Most people don't do that... they just live... "like cows" Allan once said... they are productive and midly happy, they don't need anything else, so why bother?...
Am I awake?... why did I woke up?... would I rather be asleep?...
no... not now... even though sometimes the "cows" seem to have a much easier life, I believe the life of those who are awake is "fuller"... is it better?, maybe not... but I know that I'd rather stay like this....
just being asleep would be sooo much easier.
What is it to be awake?... am I awake?... at least a little... a little more than most people I am sure... why did I woke up?.
Do I like being awake?... would I rather be asleep like everyone else?...
I was talking about such things once with Allan, and more recently with Daniel... they both think in a similar way about this... something happened to us, at some point in our lives, because of the context that we were living and such, that made us "different" than the bunch... I don't want to put my self in a "separate privileged group"... so far I don't know if I am priviliged because of this... yet I can really pin point so many differences among me and most people.
Interestingly enough I've managed to meet quite a few "like me"... like for some reason we "see it" in the eyes of those who are awake... we recognize each other, we even nod sometimes as we walk by someone with those eyes in the street. Talking to this people is so much fun, so interesting... so deep. It can be hours and hours about "stuff" that most people will find rather boring or useless... yet it's philosophy... about the very human nature of who we are, what we want and desire... our drives in life and such.
To be awake is to want more... much more. You see life in a special way, with the eyes of that person who can stay for hours looking at a tree and finding something amazing every minute of the experience... it's about "sensing" everything to an extreme, the smells, the touch, the looks... to experience life in wonderful proportions, in ways that most people just won't get... when we hurt, we hurt a lot, and we hurt for real... because having that "increased" sense of life, increases all feelings... those of joy and those of sorrow... and the interesting part is that we enjoy all those feelings, embrace them (even the pain), and try to learn from them... rejoice in the fact that we are "feeling something new" and see how it will "change us".
Most people don't do that... they just live... "like cows" Allan once said... they are productive and midly happy, they don't need anything else, so why bother?...
Am I awake?... why did I woke up?... would I rather be asleep?...
no... not now... even though sometimes the "cows" seem to have a much easier life, I believe the life of those who are awake is "fuller"... is it better?, maybe not... but I know that I'd rather stay like this....
I hope this thing finally works... the DNS server of "latilde.com" somehow broke, thus no changes in this thing have been "published" yet.
It's been an easy week, with quite some work but enough time to rest... I'm taking it slow right now, actually getting a "decent" amount of sleep and such... besides I'm taking a lot of medice, bla bla bla. One of the things that I regret about this illness though, is that I am not able to sing, and I was really enjoying that class... the cool thing is that because of that I've emailed to the teacher a lot, and a "cool email talk" is going on... She is a nice woman, she cares about people.
Hopefully we will be done with that CD today, and this weekend might actually be fun... just some school work for saturday but that's it.
I went to have lunch with pollo today... very cool conversation, he is a good friend. A "hard" person so to speak, and I don't think I'll ever be able to completelly figure him out, but you can tell he is a really nice guy... kind of like the onions and "Shrek" (with "layers").... he he he.
By the way... the "white deck" that I built yesterday (called: "a la carga mis valientes"), was rather successful today... I guess I'm really getting a grip of this Magic thing... ;oP
It's been an easy week, with quite some work but enough time to rest... I'm taking it slow right now, actually getting a "decent" amount of sleep and such... besides I'm taking a lot of medice, bla bla bla. One of the things that I regret about this illness though, is that I am not able to sing, and I was really enjoying that class... the cool thing is that because of that I've emailed to the teacher a lot, and a "cool email talk" is going on... She is a nice woman, she cares about people.
Hopefully we will be done with that CD today, and this weekend might actually be fun... just some school work for saturday but that's it.
I went to have lunch with pollo today... very cool conversation, he is a good friend. A "hard" person so to speak, and I don't think I'll ever be able to completelly figure him out, but you can tell he is a really nice guy... kind of like the onions and "Shrek" (with "layers").... he he he.
By the way... the "white deck" that I built yesterday (called: "a la carga mis valientes"), was rather successful today... I guess I'm really getting a grip of this Magic thing... ;oP
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Ahhh.... still sick. I'm feeling a little better though, after the doctor's and many other person's advice I decided to take it easy and slow down in life... I'm resting more and such. Getting good sleeping, bla bla bla... let's see for how long I can put up with that. (I do sound like and old guy, don't I?... how sad, I'm only 22)...
Yesterday Abby called as I was sleeping, it was because "she needed to talk", to be honest it was a rather nice conversation and It felt nice to "see" that she still thinks of me as his friend and someone to call... I liked being able to listen and to give my input, I am almost sure that what I said was what she needed to listen. This guy Tim, (who I've never liked), keeps putting confusion in her mind... actually our relationship started going down hill big time since she started having conversations with him and such... he seems to be one of those christians that really do feel can just "tell people what to do" based on a couple of verses of the Bible... you know?. I'm really bothered by that... yet I'm glad that I was able to "release her" from his influence and made her make a sound choice about Reiki.
Nonsense... Still, that made me think of her a lot, and I woke up this morning dreamming of her... a dream I can still remember. This "letting go" thing is harder than I thought.
Life seems full of good stuff for life after college... if I cannot work at the TEC in the multimedia project, IBM is hiring a bunch of people (like 600) and they think highly of the TEC students... a manager from over there asked me to send him my curriculum... why not?. They are the ones who pay the best on the area!.
Yesterday Abby called as I was sleeping, it was because "she needed to talk", to be honest it was a rather nice conversation and It felt nice to "see" that she still thinks of me as his friend and someone to call... I liked being able to listen and to give my input, I am almost sure that what I said was what she needed to listen. This guy Tim, (who I've never liked), keeps putting confusion in her mind... actually our relationship started going down hill big time since she started having conversations with him and such... he seems to be one of those christians that really do feel can just "tell people what to do" based on a couple of verses of the Bible... you know?. I'm really bothered by that... yet I'm glad that I was able to "release her" from his influence and made her make a sound choice about Reiki.
Nonsense... Still, that made me think of her a lot, and I woke up this morning dreamming of her... a dream I can still remember. This "letting go" thing is harder than I thought.
Life seems full of good stuff for life after college... if I cannot work at the TEC in the multimedia project, IBM is hiring a bunch of people (like 600) and they think highly of the TEC students... a manager from over there asked me to send him my curriculum... why not?. They are the ones who pay the best on the area!.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Yesterday sucked... in more than one way actually. I'm feeling so freaking sick that just the idea of doing something other than sleeping makes me feel even worse... yet I cannot really sleep since my troat hurts so much when I swallow... :'o(
Oh well... yesterday I went to the WIU stand at the "study-abroad" fair, it was actually nice since I bumped into Todd and he is an awesome guy, he and his wife were always very nice to me while I was in Western. We talked a lot, and some good memories came back to me... I honestly did have a great time over there. The "bad" side of visiting Todd was that Abby did aswell... I'm starting to see a pattern here, if I bump into her or something like that I just start feeling depressed.
Since then I haven't been feeling that great... she looked rather good actually, but it was so odd being around her. It's really like she doesn't care about aaaall that we once shared. I think I'm kind of getting over her, and I am honestly not hurting anymore, yet the whole thing has me a little down... it's weird. Feelings are a difficult thing to explain, I guess being depressed feels like this maybe. There is no honest reason to be "down", yet nothing seems to put you up. Maybe I should start dating again, get this girl once and for all out of my mind like that.
On another note I guess I'm sooo not attending WIU for a masters, I guess I could wait a couple of years and then go for it. It's both for personal and professional reasons... I don't want to feel down because of the "abby thing", and I don't want to just study a masters there because "it's an easy chance"... I was talking to Daniel and it's very clear to me now that the world has so much more to offer in terms of accademics than WIU.
As well I went to the doctor... it seems that I got sick because of stress, over working and not taking care of my health... go figure.
The presentation about the advances in the CD kind of sucked... two out of 3 loved everything, but that 1 other person really made us feel down.
Oh well... yesterday I went to the WIU stand at the "study-abroad" fair, it was actually nice since I bumped into Todd and he is an awesome guy, he and his wife were always very nice to me while I was in Western. We talked a lot, and some good memories came back to me... I honestly did have a great time over there. The "bad" side of visiting Todd was that Abby did aswell... I'm starting to see a pattern here, if I bump into her or something like that I just start feeling depressed.
Since then I haven't been feeling that great... she looked rather good actually, but it was so odd being around her. It's really like she doesn't care about aaaall that we once shared. I think I'm kind of getting over her, and I am honestly not hurting anymore, yet the whole thing has me a little down... it's weird. Feelings are a difficult thing to explain, I guess being depressed feels like this maybe. There is no honest reason to be "down", yet nothing seems to put you up. Maybe I should start dating again, get this girl once and for all out of my mind like that.
On another note I guess I'm sooo not attending WIU for a masters, I guess I could wait a couple of years and then go for it. It's both for personal and professional reasons... I don't want to feel down because of the "abby thing", and I don't want to just study a masters there because "it's an easy chance"... I was talking to Daniel and it's very clear to me now that the world has so much more to offer in terms of accademics than WIU.
As well I went to the doctor... it seems that I got sick because of stress, over working and not taking care of my health... go figure.
The presentation about the advances in the CD kind of sucked... two out of 3 loved everything, but that 1 other person really made us feel down.
Monday, February 24, 2003
Sunday, February 23, 2003
work, work, work...
We got a bunch of things done today (almost done!!)... I couldn't make it to the party at Omar's house though, that sucked.
Erik and Oscar are really cool guys, and hard workers... If I win the lotto I'll start my own company and hire them for sure!. ;o)
I had a pretty cool conversation with Daniel online... about what is it like to be "awake" and why it may happen. (later on that).
We got a bunch of things done today (almost done!!)... I couldn't make it to the party at Omar's house though, that sucked.
Erik and Oscar are really cool guys, and hard workers... If I win the lotto I'll start my own company and hire them for sure!. ;o)
I had a pretty cool conversation with Daniel online... about what is it like to be "awake" and why it may happen. (later on that).
Ok... yesterday was an awesome day!. I'm sooooo tired, yet I don't care.
I worked from 8:30am till about 7:00pm, all day doing this interactive CD for the thing in the European Union, it was rather fun actually, Erik and Oscar where here and those guys are as silly as I am, so it can't really get boring!. ;o)
There where several "highs" during the day, one was of course to finish all the "to-do" list that I had for that CD yesterday, but another huge one was the surprise visit of Rosario (an awesome woman-boss-and friend), and her two cousins. Now that was fun because she came over here with tons of riquiiiiisimos tacos at a point when we were reaaaally starving!, ha ha ha... and well, her two cousins were another surprise!. I got to meet more of "Maruccia" in person, great girl!. Can you believe that I was actually nervous when I was around her?. It's like, we've talk so much online, but when you meet someone like that in person it's always a little weird maybe. ;o) The great thing was that she brought candy, and "PANDITAS"... YAY!!... mmm... muy rico. He he he.... God bless that girl!.
At 7 Erik and I gave a lift to Marianna ("maruccia's real name"), Lucy and Oscar to McDonalds, near plaza del sol... it was a fun drive to that place, silly conversations going on in the car. Then Erik and I went to the "Teatro Galerias" to Delgadillo's concert.... We meet over there with Jose Luis, Tomas and Marisela, some guys from my singing class. It was AWESOME!!... GREAT!!!... WOW!!!.... did I say awesome already?!....
It was so freaking cool, he sung for more than 3 hours and a half, he had two companions playing chello, sax, flutes, percussions and such and man it was great... what a wonderful experience. The stories, the music, the lyrics... the musicians that played along him... wow... You can really really enjoy one of those concerts... It really lifted my spirits.
Anyway, I'll start getting some more work done now... Erik and Oscar should be here any minute and I am supposed to set the example! ;o)
Closing with a pice of a great Degadillo's song... (don't know why it's so important to me right now... ha!!)...
"Ay si te contara yo de penas
y razones por las que de lejanias
se han cargado mis canciones
pero que lo cuente el tiempo
porque hoy te hago esta promesa
amor, voy a olvidarte
con todas sus consecuencias
y a librar este pasado que
no dejo de arrastar.
Voy a olvidarme tu nombre
aunque sea lo ultimo que haga
aunque sea la ultima cosa
que me esconda lontananza
y ojala que en mi camino
no me abrume la añoranza
porque aunque muera de pena
voy a olvidarme de ti."
I worked from 8:30am till about 7:00pm, all day doing this interactive CD for the thing in the European Union, it was rather fun actually, Erik and Oscar where here and those guys are as silly as I am, so it can't really get boring!. ;o)
There where several "highs" during the day, one was of course to finish all the "to-do" list that I had for that CD yesterday, but another huge one was the surprise visit of Rosario (an awesome woman-boss-and friend), and her two cousins. Now that was fun because she came over here with tons of riquiiiiisimos tacos at a point when we were reaaaally starving!, ha ha ha... and well, her two cousins were another surprise!. I got to meet more of "Maruccia" in person, great girl!. Can you believe that I was actually nervous when I was around her?. It's like, we've talk so much online, but when you meet someone like that in person it's always a little weird maybe. ;o) The great thing was that she brought candy, and "PANDITAS"... YAY!!... mmm... muy rico. He he he.... God bless that girl!.
At 7 Erik and I gave a lift to Marianna ("maruccia's real name"), Lucy and Oscar to McDonalds, near plaza del sol... it was a fun drive to that place, silly conversations going on in the car. Then Erik and I went to the "Teatro Galerias" to Delgadillo's concert.... We meet over there with Jose Luis, Tomas and Marisela, some guys from my singing class. It was AWESOME!!... GREAT!!!... WOW!!!.... did I say awesome already?!....
It was so freaking cool, he sung for more than 3 hours and a half, he had two companions playing chello, sax, flutes, percussions and such and man it was great... what a wonderful experience. The stories, the music, the lyrics... the musicians that played along him... wow... You can really really enjoy one of those concerts... It really lifted my spirits.
Anyway, I'll start getting some more work done now... Erik and Oscar should be here any minute and I am supposed to set the example! ;o)
Closing with a pice of a great Degadillo's song... (don't know why it's so important to me right now... ha!!)...
"Ay si te contara yo de penas
y razones por las que de lejanias
se han cargado mis canciones
pero que lo cuente el tiempo
porque hoy te hago esta promesa
amor, voy a olvidarte
con todas sus consecuencias
y a librar este pasado que
no dejo de arrastar.
Voy a olvidarme tu nombre
aunque sea lo ultimo que haga
aunque sea la ultima cosa
que me esconda lontananza
y ojala que en mi camino
no me abrume la añoranza
porque aunque muera de pena
voy a olvidarme de ti."
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Went to see "lucia y el sexo" last night... yep, Sergio was right (http://www.overcaffeinated.net). It's a movie with big time explicit sexual content, yet even if you take that aside it's still a very good movie. ;o) HA!... no it is actually a rather interesting story line in which the lives of quite some people just keep tangling, and the "time-line" keeps jumping back and forth.
I went over there with Chris (the german), and Hector, had a fun conversation with them about "life after college" and the things we should do. That has been a question in my heart for a while now... what should I do?. I'm scared of going back to WIU since most of the greatest memories that I have from over there are with Abby, yet she is no longer part of my life... I get the feeling that if I go back I will be rather depressed and lonely, with no real close friends to talk to... so, I guess I should skip. It's hard though to think that the little times I get to see her this semester will probably be the last times in ourlives... How will she do?, which is going to be her married name?, where is she going to be living?, will she be happy?... oh pues... I guess I'll never know.
I'm really getting tired of being a person from "derecha" (the right)... why can't I just don't give a dime and keep going, not caring about life and others?... I get too involved, I care too much, I want to help... and that sometimes makes me crazy. Mmmm... the "right and left" thing started up with Allan, and so that you get it really quick you can talk about people "in the left", people "in the center", and people "in the right"... It's a very confusing idea, but you can kind of understand it by checking out their "burdens" in life...
The burden of the people from the left is that, as much as they are anarchist, "loners", and they pretty much don't appreciate social
norms, they HAVE to live in society, they are allways "jailed" to the rules of this world, and when they actually do what they feel like, a lot of the times they end up in jail or a mad-house.
The burden of the people from the rigth, on the other hand, is that they care too much. They tend to be overly optimistic and possitive about life and stuff... they want to help others, make this a "happier" world... yet they can't... and then they get depressed. They care so much about someone that seems "sad" (from their perspective), that they get sad as well because that person can't be happy. (mmm... too simplistic way to put this things down... I hope you are getting the idea though).
And well... the people from the center?... they are sooooo uninvolved that they lack a sense of "group"... they don't really fit, and most of the times are the true loners, going back and forth between the left and right, yet never with the passion in life that would drive them to a specific goal. They don't really swim in the river... they just kind of float in it... yet it's not such a burden for them because, they really don't care.
By the way... I woke up thinking of abby this morning again... damn!... oh well. I'm going to a concert tonight, kind of pumped about that.
I went over there with Chris (the german), and Hector, had a fun conversation with them about "life after college" and the things we should do. That has been a question in my heart for a while now... what should I do?. I'm scared of going back to WIU since most of the greatest memories that I have from over there are with Abby, yet she is no longer part of my life... I get the feeling that if I go back I will be rather depressed and lonely, with no real close friends to talk to... so, I guess I should skip. It's hard though to think that the little times I get to see her this semester will probably be the last times in ourlives... How will she do?, which is going to be her married name?, where is she going to be living?, will she be happy?... oh pues... I guess I'll never know.
I'm really getting tired of being a person from "derecha" (the right)... why can't I just don't give a dime and keep going, not caring about life and others?... I get too involved, I care too much, I want to help... and that sometimes makes me crazy. Mmmm... the "right and left" thing started up with Allan, and so that you get it really quick you can talk about people "in the left", people "in the center", and people "in the right"... It's a very confusing idea, but you can kind of understand it by checking out their "burdens" in life...
The burden of the people from the left is that, as much as they are anarchist, "loners", and they pretty much don't appreciate social
norms, they HAVE to live in society, they are allways "jailed" to the rules of this world, and when they actually do what they feel like, a lot of the times they end up in jail or a mad-house.
The burden of the people from the rigth, on the other hand, is that they care too much. They tend to be overly optimistic and possitive about life and stuff... they want to help others, make this a "happier" world... yet they can't... and then they get depressed. They care so much about someone that seems "sad" (from their perspective), that they get sad as well because that person can't be happy. (mmm... too simplistic way to put this things down... I hope you are getting the idea though).
And well... the people from the center?... they are sooooo uninvolved that they lack a sense of "group"... they don't really fit, and most of the times are the true loners, going back and forth between the left and right, yet never with the passion in life that would drive them to a specific goal. They don't really swim in the river... they just kind of float in it... yet it's not such a burden for them because, they really don't care.
By the way... I woke up thinking of abby this morning again... damn!... oh well. I'm going to a concert tonight, kind of pumped about that.
Friday, February 21, 2003
I just had a rather nice conversation with the "Maruccia", and Memo... ha!, both nick-names start with an "m". Maruccia is a girl that I don't really know in person, but that I have gotten to know through msn and she's quite fun, Memo on the other hand is a friend from quite a while. Both conversations where very refreshing!, I could just be silly and smile a lot with this girl, and have a rather interesting conversation with Memo about lojban... somehow it doesn't seem like such a waste of time after all to learn that language (yes lojban is a language!).
I woke up feeling sad this morning, found my self thinking about abby again, I think I dreamt of her. It's interesting how she still lingers so much in my mind, but I guess it's only normal. Yet I can say that after thursday last week (feb-13) things just keep looking brigther on that note. Every day I'm hit with more things that just make me see that this is really for the best. Love is something that has to be "forged" with experiences, not "forced"... it just doesn't work that way. I was talking to Hector (no, not my self, another Hector) this morning and realized that last semester I was rather sad most of the times, and now, eventhough I think of her a lot, I feel very happy this way. (This I realized because I found my self walking, smiling and singing... and that's something that I hadn't done in a loooong time). She was an awesome person in my life, in every possible way, but I really see that we are both better this way. I honestly wish I had seen it this way before, but it's a process that you just have to live I guess... you just get so used to someone that at 1st the idea of "letting go" is very hard, yet "being used to someone" is not really the best reason to want to be with them.
I really hope abby and I can stay in touch though... I care tons for her and we've both gotten to share a lot. Time will tell I guess.
I woke up feeling sad this morning, found my self thinking about abby again, I think I dreamt of her. It's interesting how she still lingers so much in my mind, but I guess it's only normal. Yet I can say that after thursday last week (feb-13) things just keep looking brigther on that note. Every day I'm hit with more things that just make me see that this is really for the best. Love is something that has to be "forged" with experiences, not "forced"... it just doesn't work that way. I was talking to Hector (no, not my self, another Hector) this morning and realized that last semester I was rather sad most of the times, and now, eventhough I think of her a lot, I feel very happy this way. (This I realized because I found my self walking, smiling and singing... and that's something that I hadn't done in a loooong time). She was an awesome person in my life, in every possible way, but I really see that we are both better this way. I honestly wish I had seen it this way before, but it's a process that you just have to live I guess... you just get so used to someone that at 1st the idea of "letting go" is very hard, yet "being used to someone" is not really the best reason to want to be with them.
I really hope abby and I can stay in touch though... I care tons for her and we've both gotten to share a lot. Time will tell I guess.
I've been writting for a while now, about "life, the universe and everything"... it's a rather nice thing to do, very therapeutic and quite fun. Instead of just writting emails to people or my self, I'll start writting lot's of my thoughts and ideas on this thing!.
So, this will be the blogger of "Hector Padilla" (hector@latilde.com), a place to read about his life, his thoughts, and some other nonsense. Mmmm... I'll try an avoid talking in third person about me from now on!!!... (it's rather disturbing).
Here you may find interesting stuff, but as well you may find it rather boring and dull, he he he... so, if you "kind of enjoy it" sometimes, that's cool. If you just don't, I'm sorry... For that matter I guess I would need to work on getting a better life, (or a better writting style).
This shall be written in "spanglish", some times in english, some times in spanish... some times a weird mixture, and most of the times with tons of grammar and spelling errors!. So, deal with that!....
Enough for an introduction...
So, this will be the blogger of "Hector Padilla" (hector@latilde.com), a place to read about his life, his thoughts, and some other nonsense. Mmmm... I'll try an avoid talking in third person about me from now on!!!... (it's rather disturbing).
Here you may find interesting stuff, but as well you may find it rather boring and dull, he he he... so, if you "kind of enjoy it" sometimes, that's cool. If you just don't, I'm sorry... For that matter I guess I would need to work on getting a better life, (or a better writting style).
This shall be written in "spanglish", some times in english, some times in spanish... some times a weird mixture, and most of the times with tons of grammar and spelling errors!. So, deal with that!....
Enough for an introduction...
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