Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Blah blah blah...

... as usual, I have been thinking a lot lately... That is the one thing I wish I could stop doing... "Thinking"... Or nevermind thinking, actually the problem is with caring, or worrying... I know it makes no sense to worry, and it gets me no where... But I still do... So much...

And when something is on my mind, if keeps rolling in there, until it has some sort of resolution...

... I look forward for the day in which, I will look back at my self... At my self "now", and smile so much saying "if I had only known"...

I have mainly two issues... In the deepest roots they come down to this: feeling of insufficiency, and issues with abundance... Both are kind of psychological crap. And little by little I shall deal with them... With No. 1 I always feel like I am "not enough" or worthy of this or that... Which translate into some unassertive attitudes from my self... No. 2 relates in how I always lack money, yet somehow I always manage to have enough to do all the craziness I want to do, I always seem to be having "barely enough"... For that, too, I want to get more financially wise...

Just like when I get into anything that interests me... The thing is that "money" is a topic that mostly eludes me. Yet, if I want to have enough of it to not worry about it, I might as well learn about it's dynamics... No?... It makes sense to me...

Less than 3 weeks and I will be in France... Less than 3 weeks and I will be falling asleep next to her... Remember how I was just, a little ago, talking about the time when she left?... How empty my bed felt?... It wasn't that little ago I guess... And now... She will be there waiting for me at the airport, and I will give her the best hug in the world...

... So nervous and excited... My French sucks...

... See?... So much on my mind!!!... Work, money, love, school, masters... Plans after the masters... Where do I want to work?... Look for a job somewhere else?... Go back to Mexico and help create an industry, or go to a Country where that industry is already established?...

... La la laaaa...

Ok... Sorry for this... It was mostly a bunch of little thoughts thrown together... For the sake of letting them out of my mind... And me, being able to know what was going on when I read this in some years... ^___^

... Ah... Yes... Today I saw the "transitions" tent... One year ago my brother and I where on it, starting out whole Canada adventure... Now?. Now I see those guys and I smile so much... Brings so many good memories and nostalgia, and makes me realize that I am one of the "old ones" here... Not anymore the silly Mexican who just came around... But one of the established dudes that know all this little corners, and the new internationals will ask questions too...

Life goes by cycles they say... Spirals...

Whatever...

... Tattoo?...

sigh... this last year went by way too fast... and i just know the next one will go likewise... and then?... that next step really has me wondering...

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pd. In neil gaiman's blog I saw this thing about how much is your blog worth?... Heh... I didn't think mine was worth 2 cents!... Now though, how do I cash this money?... It would be quite useful in Europe.


My blog is worth $5,645.40.
How much is your blog worth?

About comments in my blog...

People, I have been getting very cool comments from many of you, about some posts... I just can't #$%^&* publish them!!!...

See, for some messed up reason I get quite a lot of spam, so I turned on the "comment moderation", otherwise, I would get 5 stupid comments about buying viagra or something like that... Ehem... Which we all know I don't need!... Right?... O.o

So... If you have left a comment, and don't see it published, DON'T take it personal!... As soon as they fix it, I will get them all in there. Promise. :-)

And please, do keep writing... Even if they don't end up in there. I love reading what you peoples have to say now and then. ^__^

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Oh the other hand?... I have been CRAZY BUSY making stuff happen, since I was in Mexico I had MANY things to take care off when I came back... And now i have many things to take care of, since I want to go to France... ** sigh **

Like last night, I worked until 6:00 am... And I was up quite early too... La la la... I think I will go crazy. On the mean time, I am being able to keep the pace... Heh. Maybe because of the motivation?...

Whatever...

Cheers peoples,
good vibes to thee all.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

To pierce or not to pierce...

the eyebrow?

... how long does it take to heal?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I am a blog neglecter...

I know...

I am sorry...

Places have their magic...

Their personality...

Places that have been around more, have more to show... More to build on... Darker corners, which means of course brighter spots... Stronger magick and the corners whisper more stories... We can hardly ever understand what those whispers say... We can, usually, feel what they mean... We can feel comfortable in the spot... Or we can get "goose bumps" up our necks and want to get the heck out of somewhere...

They grow kind, or bitter, depending on the life they have had to put up with... On the things they have seen... On how much hope they have on us humans...

... One of such places, full of magick and contrasts, of stories and whispers in the air, is Mexico...

It's a tune I have been used to all my life... A beat I was living with in a way that it was in my blood stream... In a way I didn't noticed...

Then came Canada... And with Canada, came being away from Mexico. From it's vibe and magic... With Canada too, came the discovering of a "newer" land... Where old buildings have less than 80 years and the urban rules are still being defined... The land of the "things to be"... While Mexico, for a while, has been a land of the "things that are"...

...

When I went to Mexico for Christmas... Meh... Too many other things on my mind... I guess...

Now?...

Well... I just came back from that old magic, into this "cleaner slate"... Canada, as awesome as it may be, all of a sudden fells a little dull... Yes yes... I can cross the streets safely at 3:00 am... It's nice... But I guess I understand now why girls get bored when they take their boy for granted... When there is no challenge...

Yes... Canada has "some" flavor... Don't get me wrong. And the multicultural aspect adds a lot to it... But still...

The things I feel now of Mexico, the way I see it?... I still lack words to describe it...

People are not "nice"... They are warm... Sincere... They will talk to you on the bus stop, or make chit chat on the taco stand... You may be driving around an area where you fear your car may be stolen... Just to walk to an awesome Pub full of life, good music, smiles and people having a legitimate good time... Where energy feels freaking awesome... Besides, it's always good to come back and see your car is still there...

... Heh...

I am talking nonsense...

I guess, what matters... I love my country... I really do.

A few months, I admit, I would say "I don't think so" when people asked me if I would return to Mexico after my masters... Now?... Well... As I saw last year, things can change SO MUCH in so little time... I don't know where life will really take me...

But Mexico?... OF COURSE!...

Lets see where the road takes me... But I am happy to admit, I would merrily end up back there... Maybe that is all Canada had to teach me, that home is indeed, the sweetest place on earth...

Then again...

Europe comes soon... ;-)

Cheers...

--

pd. FELL by Warren Ellis is probably the best comic I have read in quite a while... Makes me want to get back into writing and drawing and art... Makes me wish comics where, at this point, more than something I read now and then... Here is the #1 online... Piece of art.