Life has been playing

funny games with me right now... And... I wish it wasn't like this... I wish I wasn't this cryptic on this damn blog, but honestly, I just came back from a full day of walking... And so on... Little times have I had to just, sit and write...

So much to write though... A lot of it sucks, big time... A lot of it rocks...

I am living ying-yang at it's fullest...

And it's almost driving me insane...

The last thing that is,

kind of, documented on this blog, is that cool trip we took to Banff. And even then, I just smeared a couple of notes here and there, mostly for me to remember... Life has been fast, in every aspect. And the 2nd half of semester just got crazy in so many ways.

I will try to start writing now, of everything that happened during this time. It is way too much though, and I am lazy. So... I don't know. Some good post trying to "sum things up" may work out. And then, some deeper analysis on things that matter.

I am back in Mexico, back with my friends, family, and people who smile and hug you when they see you... Thus, I will take as much advantage of me being here as I can. Still, I will have those nice, quiets moments just to chill and write here... Or even read actual literature, instead of crazy papers regarding my masters... So yes... This thing will get up do date soon.

On the mean time, I can say I feel very at ease and excited... A nice feeling indeed.

Cheers.

So sorry...

I have SO MUCH to write about... So much needs, and deserves, to be written down...
I am back in Mexico... And... Even the reason of why I am here early, and why the reason became pointless at the end... Etc...

... I have been bad with this blog. Just too busy with life I guess. I'll get some time... Promise.

... Sigh.

Cheers peoples. More on all this thing soon.

Tonight, before

mid night... I hand in the last thing...
THE LAST THING...

Tomorrow?...

... I sleep all through the day.

the one good thing?...

it was true. Days are nice and sunny... As much as we can be at -24°, the days are sunny and that helps a lot. I remember when I was in Illinois it sucked big times. Days got gray and sky had just an odd color... What we used to get of light was some sort of fake idea of light by a lousy impersonator of the sun.

Here thouh... It's nice... I hope it stays like that.

Why the fuck

is every single thing due the same fucking day?!?!?!?!??!...

argh... O.o

By the way,

if you ever want to work with Blender, and have a ATI graphics card... The best way to go is to turn down all the graphics acceleration, and use your screen in 16bits. I know, I know... Makes no sense, but otherwise the damn thing doesn't work. ATI & Blender just don't get along... And the way around it seems to be... Not using hardware acceleration at all. If you have a decent computer though, blender will keep on running nicely.

Sorry about the techie rant... I just spent waaaay to much time looking for the best way to make things happen... Heh. Had to inmortalize my solution somehow.

... Ehem... Anyway, keep working on my graphics final project.

Cheers!.

ps.

Tiny Dancer - Almost Famous ST

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Finals rush...

Finals rush...
I can't believe a full term is gone by already!... O.o

Argh!... Anyway... Yes, working like crazy... Not enough time to blog... A LOT of crazy shit going on in my life, honest. So... One of this days I shall catch up.

**Sigh...

On the mean time, really, good vibes to thee all!.

525,600 minutes...

COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes -
how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes -
how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

COMPANY
It?s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

... listen.

Among many other things,

one of my activities is being a TA (teacher assistant). And it has been quite fullfilling and fun to be honest... Anyway, Bioware had a profile for the class put up today in their site... It's here!... And yes, it makes me feel proud.

Heh.

Cheers!

It is not really that

I am that much in the blues right now. Honest, I don't even have time to think of that. I have less than two weeks until classes are over, and enough work to hand in then, work for maybe even a month... Do the Math and yes... It doesn't seem like I am bound to have a good time for a while.

Whatever. Let's work to make it happen.

Cheers.

I'm feeling the blues...

Not much to say...
It kind of sucks...

Gotta... I guess live with it, understand where it comes from and get over it. Nothing is quite nice or appealing at the moment. For all I care, could be the stupid lack of some vitamin. Messed up Brain. I can almost say though, it's the first time I have this feeling for such an extended peior of days...

Life goes on, school and all... I don't really feel like writing though.

But as usual, I will be back.

... Cheers peoples... And good times hugs.

And, as it happens,

now and then I don't even know what to write about. I should mention the party last Saturday, or the game gathering that we had at Daniel's the other day. I had a wonderful time last Thursday, first because the weather was so good, and I discovered an awesome little park since I decided to go "off" my usual walk and passed the train rails. There I had some quality time with my self, a pen, a notebook and some good coffee. It was like a small oasis in the middle of this parade of scarves and gloves.

Saturday?... Great great party at Jacome's place. Sigh. I wish I had more time to hang out with those guys, they are really fun. Reminded me of the time when I was an exchange student... Heh. Now *that* makes me feel a tad old.

... But anyway... Facts, bla bla bla. I have so many little ideas cooking up in my head and I don't really have someone to bounce them with, neither are they clear enough to write them down. I feel I may be getting close to something interesting, and just like that painting of Da Vinci where those two fingers almost touch each other... It creates so much tension because they are not quite there yet.

Time will fly in the next few weeks, way too much to do, way too little time.

Sounds like life.

Cheers people!!...

Why do I buy great

comic books right when I have to get work done?... O.o

Really!...

Argh... Anyway, thank God I am finished reading the first one I bought, and the 2nd one I will definitely put on hold. Let me just tell you, Saga of the Swamp Thing, by Alan Moore... Sigh. Ok, I am a hopeless fan of this guy's storytelling. Really, if you are into comics and appreciate good writing, go get it. Go get it and understand why Alan Moore came to change how comic stories where told and seen. How he took one of the dullest DC characters and turned it into something quite extraordinary, leading the way to such great stories as Watchmen and all that good stuff he has given us.

I can't wait to get my hands around the new, and last, TPB of Promethea.

Ok... Enough geeky me... Cheers.

Go ahead and

read this.

Really.

Nice day...

Rise up this mornin?,
Smiled with the risin? sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin? sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin?, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)...

I woke up super late... THANK GOD!!... It had been forever since I had been able to sleep over 12 hours... Sigh. Good stuff. And besides that, the day rocks big time!... Nice, warm and sunny!!!... YAY!!... Probably an oasis in the middle of all the cold weather that has been around and is to come, so I am about to get out and have a great walk out there. ^_^

By the way, yesterday was very nice. I had a virtual date with Wend, fun fun!!... Nice talk and lauhs... Etc... I don't know. As usual feels silly to write about it. Heh... But it rocked.

Anyway,

Cheers peoples!.

I really really don't

mind cold weather. See, I much rather put on layers of clothes to stay warm, than almost walk around naked on a hot weather, and still feel awfully sweatty!... That I hate, layers are ok. The thing is that I am kind of growing my hair longer, and the stupid winter hats messes up my hair!... He he he. I know, sounds too gay. But really, you have to see it. I take the damn thing off, and my hair is a total mess... TOTAL!!!... It is not short enough to "don't care", not long enough to "stay put" either...

ARGH!!...

I guess I gotta get me one of this ear things... That'd do the trick. I mean, you are not really cold in the top of your head. It's just those damned ears that hurt!!... O.o

... Anyway, now I am kind of recovery for the lack of sleep and proper eating since last thursday... Kind of. But I hated how this morning I ran like crazy to be on time-ish for my lab, and THERE WAS NO LAB!!... It was filled with weird people!!... O.o

Apparently they had some other thing in there today, and we were not told about it... ARGH!... I could have slept in!!... UNTIL ABOUT 2 PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....

O.o

Sigh...

I guess I should study or something like that.

Cheers!

Stomach is starting

to act in messed up funny (as in not nice) ways...

Argh...

... I hate coffee...

... No... I didn't say that!... But... ARGH....

Gotta go.

So, I didn't finish

my assignment last night... "Last night" is a funny concept considering that I have slept sh*t, one day just faded away into the other one. The good news though, is that I have more time to finish it. The bad news?. My brain is kind of dry, and I don't think I will be able to make it run from coffee for too long.

... I really should come up with something good to finish writing that paper up.

... ... go away procrastination demons!... GO AWAY!!!!!!!!... o.O

Ok, I am stressing out

as heck right?. Just realized that what I was working on for the past few days was total boggus. Actually, I renamed the file to "myGaborWorksShit.m"... Really, I meant that "works shit" bit... So, being that I have to hand in this project tomorrow at 9 am (which gives me about 9 hours... with no sleep whatsoever), I found my self quite stressed.

... Now?. Well, I am still stressed I guess, but engrish.com just made my life happier and now I am just silly smiling. Heh. Best 10 minute break I have given my self in a while.

Heh...

Anyway... Why am I even writing on this thing?!.

O.o

And then, at about 2am,

I walked out of the building and...
... WOW...

The whole landscape was totally changed. After the initial shock, I just smiled. I really really like the way it looks. I know later I may totally hate it, but for now, I'm glad it's here.

Welcome snow... You better treat me nice this time, not making me fall as I walk please!.

Cheers!

Good stuff,

woxy.com is good stuff. Really.

Cheers.

Everybody is out,

partying... My girl back in México and a bunch of friends are having one of those huge drunken fun parties that people will talk about for the years to come. Over here my mates from the Masters program are out in a games night, and the guys that I went to Banff with are having a cool birthday party for one of the girls...

And me?... Stuck in my office, in the university, working like crazy...

... Sigh.

Damned procrastination and not doing things on time... The bad thing with procrastination is that you can only take it so far, otherwise you become plain irresponsible and fail big time. Which I cannot afford to do.

ARGH... I do want to go out...

... Whatever. Maybe I'll get my self some good wine and work at home while drinking it...

... Wait a minute. That doesn't sound half bad.

^_^

Cheers

Crazy Little Thing...

Crazy Little Thing Called Love
- Queen

This thing called love I just can't handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
This (This Thing) called love
(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love

There goes my baby
She knows how to Rock n' roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat

I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love

I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready (Ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love

This thing called love I just can't handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love (repeat... forever!).

Bring it on!!!...

Heh...

By the way,

I like my girlfriend!...

A lot... Makes me smile. And I am glad about the way things feel, my bet is that we are getting to a nice equilibrium stage. Yes we are far away, yes it sucks, and yes we wished it wasn't like this. But it is and for the time being, focusing on that doesn't really help. And we are kind of there already!.

Our conversations are cool, we share a lot over the phone and webcam-chats, about good and bad times, we laugh, we listen, we give each other support. We smile... And I can still see that look in here eyes while she talks with me. While I make her laugh.

... As long as that look remains in those eyes, things will be ok.

...

Cheers peoples, this time for my girl's smile.

20 seemed like a lot,

the first time... 25 was, we thought, over doing it. Then we came up to 30... That day we were hungrier I guess. How did we make the jump to almost 50?... Was it really that much?!.

Yesterday we went to the Thirsty Turtle on whyte av. and we had 320 chicken wings... 320. It was 8 of us, which kind of would suggest 40 each. (That is a lot already). But the truth is that some of the bunch were girls, and the ones in my side of the table were eating much much more... Me among them, of course.

So... I had around 50 freaking wings... O.o

Needless to say, it's 11:25 am the day after and I am not hungry at all.

Heh... And I did good on my presentation in neuroscience this morning!!. YAY!

Cheers for that!!!...

ps. Yesterday I saw a movie called Old School... Made me laugh so freaking much!. Ask my brother... And yes, the fellowship was in my mind all the way through... Heh.

No, it's not mexican

halloween... It is a much richer experience and tradition. I have been there, surrounded by candles in the middle of the night. Looking at all those altars, and the music. Explaining the tradition to some people from Holland and I saw how watery their eyes were, and the goose bumps they got...

... Sigh.

In times like this, I wish I was in Mexico, and I wish I had taken more advantage of all this things while I was there.

Cheers!!...

ps. I am talking about the Day of the Dead by the way. O.o

I feel totally out

of it in my classes, and almost regret having gone to Banff... Big time... Then again... Sigh... Whatever, just going through one of those freaking out stages again, but don't even want to write about it...

At the end it always works out.

... Heh.

Cheers.

There are some things

that are just plain weird... Not really meant to happen, and mess up your brain in a funny way when they do. One of such things are the hotsprings in Banff... I mean, they are there. Quite real and all... But, it is so cool and weird to be on them!...

I mean, picture this. We all were just in our swimsuits, in a pool that had water coming out of a hotspring, at about 40 Celsius... WHILE SNOW WAS FALLING ON US!!!... O.o

The hotsprings are out in the open, up in the mountains, and you get to lay and rest on them, while surrounded by snow... And.... It is just plain awesome and hard to explain!... I was... GREAT!.

... I had an awesome weekend. We went on a field trip from Friday until Sunday, to Canmore, Banff, Lake Louise and Calgary... Sigh... So much happened and so many lovely memories. We rented two cars, 5 guys on each. Most of us Mexicans, just one pretty cool Brazilian girl. And we had the time of our lives!... ^_^

There are a lot of pictures, and I will try to post a few later on. Maybe even talk some more about it. But the views were so great, the snow, the lakes, the waking on a frozen lake while in the middle of a snow storm, the face of my brother while looking at snow for the first time in his life... I mean... Words are not fair to any of this experiences, because as much as I can talk about what we did.

Snow angels, walking up a snowed mountain (and falling a couple of times while doing so), singing, and joking and just plain smiling... What really made it awesome were the feelings that were jumping inside of me all the time... And those are hard to describe.

...

Cheers then, to life and love and good times!!!...

There are a couple of

Quebecois beers... Mmmhh mmhhh... Not only is it good stuff, but it is 9%!!!... O.o

Good times... Yesterday after we had A LOT of wings at the Turtle, we were convinced by our buddy Chris to go get beer. (Great influence that guy, huh?)... I was more tipsy than sober, when I realized I had told Daniel I was going to help him with a website... So... I went. Heh.

I believe the first thing I told him was something like "Dude... My consciousness state is kind of messed up due to alcohol... Let's see how I do about helping you"... I do think we did something good, and I was more helpful than not. What I am sure of is that since it was working and all, Daniel opened a bottle of good Pinot Noir (red wine)... Sigh... Oh well, of course we had to finish it!... O.o

Then, I played a little this game called "Indigo Prophecy"... AWESOME... Despite me being merry and all, I totally loved the concept and enjoyed it a lot. I hope they start making more games like that. Story driven, different game plays, etc. Europe is starting to become a good source of Video Games. I do believe they will make awesome interesting games... Totally different focus than the American market... Just like with comic books and all. European ones rock big time. They do care more about content than releasing whatever every week.

... I got a tad too geeky there... Sorry.

... And tomorrow morning we are taking off to Banff-Lake Louise... It promises to be a great weekend... A little spoiled by the crazy amount of work I have... But... Oh well. I'll manage. :-P

Cheers people... And, of course, good vibes!!

When I counted up my demons...

One day I am feeling totally down... Like things are going baaaad... Then, I let stuff out, the world around makes me smile, and I do realize I was making a huge storm on a glass of water. Again feeling too responsible for things that are not in my hand... Sigh...

Things are about to get crazy, final projects on their way... And, to be honest, I don't have a clue in how I will make those work. I still think the class I enjoy the most is Neuroscience, by a lot. Enough to want to do some good research in that, but the poor monkeys... 8(

... I couldn't do that to them... Heh...

Cheers!

---

Everything's Not Lost Lyrics
-Coldplay

When I counted up my demons
Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

When you thought that it was over
You could feel it all around
And everybody's out to get you
Don't you let it drag you down

'Cos if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

If you ever feel neglected
If you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

Singing out
Oh, oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Everything's not lost

So come on, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Come on, yeah
And everything's not lost

I have issues with

doing with not doing... Action through inaction...

Letting go...

It makes me feel powerless to know that there is not much I can do some times to make stuff better. I keep forgetting that often times I don't need to. I can just be, stay, listen... I forget about other tools, reiki, good vibes, etc... I want to do... And since I cannot I get into this endless loop of despair... He he he.

But then it breaks... And I kind of feel go... I let go a bit.

... I need to trust in people. In the way they will deal with stuff. I need to understand it is not up to me to make their life better. If anything, my job is to stick around... I cannot do that kind of magic, make someone feel better. That is pretty much a personal choice.

... To learn, to learn from whatever life is placing in front of you right now. Instead of feeling sad about it, trying to learn what is in there for you. What are you supposed to get from it...

... Me?... I am kind of having to learn to trust, to let go... To deal with the fact that not everything is my responsibility I guess... That, not everything I can do. And that, it shouldn't suck.... That I should be ok with it...

Right?...

Heh... Cheers.

Friday night,

singing along Joaquin Sabina, with some friends and the generous aid of alcohol, several songs were sung, several smiles where in place, and several times we cheered...

At some point, the random chose a little poem and gave us this...

Este adiós, no maquilla un hasta luego.
Este nunca, no esconde un ojalá.
Estas cenizas, no juegan con fuego.
Este cielo, no mira para atrás.
Este notario, firma lo que escribe.
Esta letra, no va a protestar.
Ahórrate el acuse de recibo,
estas vísperas son las de después.
A este ruido, tan huérfano de padre,
no voy a permitirle
que taladre un corazón podrido de latir.
Este pez, ya no muere por tu boca.
Este loco, se va con otra loca.
Estos ojos ya no lloran más por ti.

We all stood quiet all of a sudden...

We made one of those faces of recognizition, smiled, and cheered with an even harder yell...

In my mind, what did I cheer for?...

First, because I knew what it was talking about, and although I can empathize and see it's depth, it is a feeling long forgotten and past. But second?... because I hope it doesn't return, because I hope that feeling doesn't come back... Because I don't want to ever again sing it and feel it present... Because it would suck if again I'd had to go through that...

((sigh))

I have always believed

in the therapeutic value of blogs, or diaries, regardless of who ends up reading them... It may be a lonely corner of the planet that no one ever bumps into, like a diary locked inside your cupboard, or a huge blog with thousands of visitors a day... At the end, writing stuff is good for you.

You let stuff out, you write ideas that other wise you usually don't end up sharing, you bitch about life, and can talk about how great it is all you want without people giving you a face, asking you to shut up...

Then, reading a friend's blog, I started thinking about Momo... (pretty much my favorite book)...

Momo...

Are blogs our own personal Momos?... Do they give us that space to just, rant about life while she stares at us with those huge magical eyes, helping us feel better as we rant, not really understanding why, and not really hearing any reply back from her?.

Who are we when we blog?... Gigi?... Or Beppo?...

Would Beppo even blog?...

... Sigh...

See... I feel like exploring the idea, but for the sake of avoiding too much spoilers to whoever has not read Momo (sadly enough, such people exist), I will not... Still. It was a silly yet fun analogy...

Blogs and Momo...

Heh.

Whatever... Cheers to thee all!!...

A full dozen cookies,

and two bottles of wine...

He he he. Good times last night... Indeed.

I find my self having pretty darn interesting conversations with Chris, like the ones I used to have with Allan now and then... And it is quite refreshing. Talking aimlessly about the meaning of life, or how to flow through it, is just good times if you do it with the proper person.

... Cheers.

Chris, my friend

well... We have been talking about quite a bunch of things... It is being a great conversation, as I type this actually... He pointed me to this one song though... Gotta love it.

Consequence Free
by Great Big Sea

Wouldn't it be great, if no one ever got offended
Wouldn't it be great to say what's really on your mind
I have always said 'all the rules are made for bending'
And if I let my hair down, would that be such a crime?

[Chorus]
I wanna be consequence free
I wanna be where nothing needs to matter
I wanna be consequence free
just sing Na Na Na Na Na Ne Na Na Na

I could really use, to lose my Catholic conscience
Cuz I'm getting sick of feeling guilty all the time
I won't abuse it, Yeah I've got the best intentions
For a little bit of anarchy but not the hurting kind

[Chorus]

I couldn't sleep at all last night
cause I had so much on my mind
I'd like to leave it all behind,
but you know it's not that easy

[Chorus]

Wouldn't it be great, if the band just never ended
We could stay out late and we would never hear last call
We wouldn't need to worry about approval or permission,
we could - slip off the edge and never worry about the fall

[Chorus]


---

Cheers...

No... Stop... Don't say it...

Really, if you are ok... If you are really "that ok" and things are going "that great" it is very likely that you are in a state of bliss in which, you cannot really think about the word: happy.

See... Happiness is kind of a state of bliss, one of those things you think about when you don't have it. Like... Toilet paper. There you go!. Happiness is like toilet paper!. It brings a great sense of comfort, it has a greater purpose and makes you feel at ease. Yet... You don't really think about it. Now, when you don't have it all of a sudden... THERE YOU GO...

That is not-happiness, that is angst and bad times right there!. You wish you had your happiness, I mean, your toilet paper around!.

You wish you were happy.

You don't go and yell to someone visiting you "wait!, there IS toilet paper in the bathroom!!" as they go to use the toilet.... WTF?!... O.o

You yell at them, maybe, when there is NOT... So that you can fix it... Or they can start figuring something out. Heh.

Anyway...

If you are happy you just are. You have an aura, a vibe, and it is quite likely that other people can tell. If you are happy you feel so, but don't really feel the need to say it. You may say "I feel kind of good" or whatever. But the words "Yeah, I am happy" don't utter out of your self while in the mist of some random conversation. IF they do... Very likely you are trying to reassure your self by showing off to others the bit of good you have in your life, with which you want to cover all the crap around it.

Very likely you want to convince someone that you are happy, and see if it works with them... Because quite certainly it is not working for yourself and you are not buying it.

... Really. If you are happy, you just are.

... If you are not?... Well... That is quite common, but try to figure out why and do something about it.

Ok?

--- Cheers.

I can already hear complains... "But... but"... Yeah right. You can be happy about something, ok?. You can be having a good day too... Whatever... Think about it. If you don't agree with me that means you want to justify your "I am happy" even more, which makes my point even stronger, so thanks.

Regardless of whatever

I may have to say, I have to tell you about one blog... I am not the kind to read blogs, heh, as funny as that may sound. Most of them I don't enjoy!. I read some of my friend's but because I care about their lives, it takes a lot for me to read some other blog. Like Neil Gaiman's... It is good, but well... It is him.

Anyway... There is one blog called Girlspoke that I just plain like. It is funny, it is witty, and it is insightful. Just... Know that it's worth your time, ok?. He he he. I am not going to say girls are all that way, but I always like looking at their takes on dating, life, and just plain bitching. I like their stuff!. Go read it!.

Me?... Blah blah blah...

Heh.

Cheers!.

Bad times,

just right now... I feel like shit, my head is as if I had a hangover, my body aches, and my emotional state is in the ground... sigh.

Last night, for some reason, all the food that I ate through the day, decided to crawl out of me in the middle of the night, all the way up my esophagus and just barely giving me time to deposit it in the toilet... BLARGH!!!...

... I hate that after taste.

It was indeed a restless night... And now, I am paying for it.

And what else?... Well, I am having a guilt trip for having left Wend, frustrated because I am not filthy rich so that I could go visit her all the time, etc. I could go on and on about this... I really need to work on that letting go bit, and trusting that good things will happen for us if we have the proper attitude...

... I really don't know.

Whatever.... Cheers and send those good vibes over.

Another silly piece

of advice for you guys thinking about grad school?...

Start fooling around with LaTeX... Really... Use editors like TeXnicCenter and stuff like that, and learn how to do stuff... It is HORRIBLE to have a thing due in a few hours, and taking 10 times the usual amount to have it done, just because you don't know how to use the freaking tools!!!...

O.o

On love, I wanted to share

some of the ideas I wrote about love and all over the summer, and it was a bit tricky to track them down... The "search" in blogger is not that great it seems, and I have this tendency to write quite "non-descriptive" titles... He he he.

Anyway... For reference, pretty much for me maybe, here are the links. (Now with at least the words "on love" in the title... argh).

http://www.spacingout.net/2005/05/so-before-i-forget.html
http://www.spacingout.net/2005/06/bottom-line-is.html
http://www.spacingout.net/2005/06/ok-now-on-about-life.html

cheers peoples!!...

ps. life is going good... I may not sleep tonight at all, since I have to hand in a paper in a few hours and well... I am quite behind schedule... Ehem. And I have to say!... Wend made me smile like crazy today for some pictures she took in the beach!!!... *sigh* (she wrote me a message in the sand and took pictures... yes, silly in love I remain... he he he... good thing I daresay!).

Yesterday night, for the

1st time since I arrived to Edmonton, I was truly happy of being here.

You could see it in the smile of my face and eyes, but mostly, I bet that if you could see "auras" you would have seen mine glowing so freaking happy. He he he.

Really, there have been some truly great times down here, sadly enough, most of them are not be documented (and I honestly feel they won't). Great people, great laughs, great views... Etc. But for the 1st time it all made sense.

It made sense to have left everything behind, my pretty darn cool job, my great friends, nice family, and my awesome girlfriend...

I was working in the AMMI Lab on this program called Virtools, for a project in Virtual Reality in which I may be able to help. And well, I was working with a girl that has a pretty cool project, well all of a sudden they all started to make plans to go get some drinks and have a bit of fun. Then they invited me along!... He he he.

You see, I am just going there once in a while, to start feeling like a part of something interesting, but I am not really in just yet. All my school work keeps me from doing all those fun things!. But still, I am starting to meet and get along with the people working in the Lab... So, I tagged along!.

It made me smile to see that Walter (my Neuroscience teacher) and Pierre (the head of the Lab) were going too!, he he he... I loved realizing that those two are not only knowledgeable and great teachers, but they have a pretty cool sense of humor!.

We went to a small coffee house, it had beers from all over the world, coffee and cake, etc. Nice and cozy. Conversation kept flowing for over 4 hours... I noticed the feel of the lab, how they all get along, and it felt great. As well I talked with some of them about their projects, heard them talking about it, and it just kept sending chills down my spine and waves of excitement!.

... Really... It all made sense in there, while looking at Walter (this knowledgeable white haired man) being fun and goofy with a little Kid, Pierre giving advice on beer, and people from all over the world teasing each other and just smiling... People working with great projects involving multimedia, visualization, virtual worlds, and so many cool things!.

... Sigh...

I will do my best in hanging into this sense of excitement about it all.

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!....

Work, work,

work, catching up... It is hard, bla bla bla...

The story is getting old, yet remains current. No point in writting about it though... And a lot of good stuff that I should be writting about... Well... Eventually?... Maybe.

Heh...

Whatever!, just: cheers!

The brain works in

ways that just amaze me... I really cannot grasp the whole idea just yet, and so far I am getting to see that... Well, no one else really can!. At the end there are a lot of models of how the brain works and all... But they don't really know.

Neuroscience is such an interesting area of study, so wide, esoteric and... Plaing weird and freaky!. We are talking about proper science, experiments, data and information. But as well we are dealing with some pretty heavy stuff that we cannot really "touch"... Cognition, emotions, memory and all those things.

A lot of the serious reasearch is still based on assumptions and the same results can be viewed from so many angles!. It is not that the area is not getting anywhere, it is that there is so much to explore and explain!...

We know a great deal on how some mechanics of the brain work, how some neurons communicate, some parts of the brain are more active on this or that situations, etc. But... How much is really known about how we store and retrieve that information?!?... How is there the module that defines who we are?!...

ARGH!...

I am really REALLY enjoying my Neuroscience class... As weird and hard as it may get sometimes...

... Freaky, weird interesting topic indeed. ^_^

If you haven't already,

please, PLEASE go see Coupling (the british version of course)... Rent it... Buy it... WHATEVER!... Get your hands around some episodes and just freaking love it.

Jeff... (or Geoff?)... He is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!.... ^_^

ps. I really do need to get working now... Damn it.

This weekend was

oh so pretty darn good, and I am oh so very happy about it. At first, I was afraid it would suck big time!. My brother went away to Calgary to visit Mariel, so I was going to be "home alone" and well, pretty much thinking about me not being able to go visit Wend. (I know, I know... Leave me alone!).

So, at some point in Friday I got an email from Luis Concha saying something like "So... It is Friday!, let's do something... But, most important... Where?!?!"... What?!?!... WHERE?!... The problem about having fun is not having where?!?!.... NO NO NO... And well, of course my place became the place and all through the day we kept exchanging fun emails about making it happen.

He he he. And it was a pretty darn cool gathering!, Yay! Quite a bunch of people showed up, good drinks, we ordered pizza, and well... Good times and conversations in general.

Then, on Saturday, I went to the choir rehearsal, which was fun and interesting... (more on that "interesting" maybe later). And later I went to the CS open house on the butterdome. (Huge huge yellow building... Heh). It was a fun event and it was pretty much to promote the department. But you get to see all the nicer toys and gadgets that all the different research groups have and well... It's a great way to meet people!.

I can't believe that I did so much that day. I mean, after 4 hours there I went with Pepe to the West Edmonton Mall (huge place), got me some nice shoes and helped him with some of his stuff, and even later I went to a lovely yummy good times dinner!!... ^_^

WOW!!... he he he.

And Sunday?. A great meal and a movie... (Serenity, good stuff but mostly for Firefly fans I think). Good coffee, bookstore, and later doing laundry and watched a fun TV series... GREAT!.

I managed to do everything last week so that the weekend was for me to enjoy, and it went great. I hope I can make that happen from now on. ^_^

... Anyway... Gotta go, I have to figure out why do I owe so much money to the phone companies, and how to pay them!... O.o (Growing up sucks).

Cheers,

Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando,

Noches De Boda
Sabina Joaquin

Que el maquillaje no apague tu risa,
Que el equipaje no lastre tus alas,
Que el calendario no venga con prisa,
Que el diccionario dentenga las balas,

Que las persianas corrijan la aurora,
Que gane el quiero la guerra del puede,
Que los que esperan no cuenten las horas,
Que los que matan se mueran de miedo,

Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando,
Que el escenario te tiña las canas,
Que nunca sepas ni cómo, ni cuándo,
ni ciento volando, ni ayer ni mañana,

Que el corazón no se pase de moda,
Que los otoños te doren la piel,

Que cada noche sea noche de bodas,
Que no se ponga la luna de miel.
Que todas las noches sean noches de boda,
Que todas las lunas sean lunas de miel.

Que las verdades no tengan complejos,
Que las mentiras parezcan mentira,
Que no te den la razón los espejos,
Que te aproveche mirar lo que miras.

Que no se ocupe de ti el desamparo,
Que cada cena sea tu última cena,
Que ser valiente no salga tan caro,
Que ser cobarde no valga la pena.

Que no te compren por menos de nada,
Que no te vendan amor sin espinas,
Que no te duerman con cuentos de hadas,
Que no te cierren el bar de la esquina.

Que el corazón no se pase de moda,
Que los otoños te doren la piel,

Que cada noche sea noche de bodas,
Que no se ponga la luna de miel.
Que todas las noches sean noches de boda,
Que todas las lunas sean lunas de miel.

You see how

if you place 1 + 1 in google, it's calculator returns 2?... And then you can keep making more complex math operations, and it gives you the answer?.

Well... That calculator just made me smile way too much. Heh... See what happens when you search for "the answer to life, the universe and everything"... Yup... Big ol' 42... He he he.

Cheers

The problem with

the awesome red-fiery colors in the trees is that.... Well... They are the first to be gone it seems!. O.o

Darn. Now, most of those trees stand there just pretty much naked. And well... Pictures of naked trees are pointless, and on the other hand, I don't feel comfortable just shooting the camera at them when they are like that. And I bet they don't like it either.

Anyway... I got some pretty nice pictures on my way to school today, I hope I can post them in a couple of hours.

... Other news: It has started snowing in Calgary!!!!!!!!... O.o That is only like... 3 hours away from here!!... ARGH!... Snow will be here soon. Sigh.

One issue that I have

is that I get distracted so easily... Like now for example. I have several things due for today. And well... Today only has a limited amount of hours AND I have to rehearse in choir... Sigh...

So... Why am I even writing on this thing?... Well... Kind of to "embrace" my f*&^ing demon and acknowledge it... Now...

I will really really do my best to get totally offline for the next few hours...

ARGH...

Just so that I don't

post it twice... I will just link this.

And I'd trade it all
On a night like this
For your lovin' arms
And a moonlight kiss

...

Things here have been better than decent, the weather is getting a bit chilly, and you can see fall all over the place. The nice colors in the trees and all those good things. Little by little I am starting to know some of my peers, and to share with them some good talks and even a couple of laughs.

People here are really cool, and there had been already several good times. I've meet people from all over the world, and shared with them. Sang with them by a karaoke after some beers... He he he. Cannot get much better than that, right?.

The university is quite good, and so is the program. Despite the fact that it is taking me quite some time to catch up, and well... I don't honestly thing I will be able to. He he he. But oh well, by giving my best try I will get something good... That always seem to happen.

...

Cheers.

Just notes...

Being apart from each other is being harder than we thought it would be. We both knew it was going to suck big time I guess, but not how much. You pretty much miss the other person all through the day, I keep thinking of her pretty much all the time, really. But there are those moments in which it sucks even more. Those moments in which something magical is going on and you wish she was there to share it with you. Or the terrible times in which, you realize, everybody around you is a couple and is cuddling while on the living room in the middle of a conversation, and you are sitting there by yourself... Those suck big time.

Even so, the option of "not missing her" is not really present, and as much as it sucks, I rather feel that she is there for me, although far away, than not there at all. I am so busy that, if she was here, it would probably be worse. And she even told me the same thing. We both are like crazy in the middle of a lot of projects and things... So, in a way, this is giving us the space that we need to do our thing, without straining the relationship due to a lack of maintenance that would be quite harsh.

Not wanting to be with her is quite silly and out of the question too, and I just know that because of how I feel every time I see her picture. The album that she made of us, and all the little things around me that remind me of her. I love it that she is a part of my life, even if just in those little details.

... I guess, it comes down to letting go and feeling somewhat ok with the way things are right now. We are both giving our best effort to making things happen, and that should really be enough. I cannot do more than what I am doing, and neither can she. So we both have to learn that this is the way things ought to be for a while. If we thing it is worth it, we might as well get used to the idea. Right?... He he he.

I keep realizing that I feel very bad, not only for my self and how I miss her, but because I know she feels bad and I cannot do anything about it. I feel helpless and somewhat useless... And that is probably what messes me up more. Not my own "missing her", but the fact that I know she is sad sometimes too, and I cannot change that.

But... You see?... I really cannot!. And I guess I do have to trust in her and the way she deals with her feelings. I cannot do really anything to change them, just as I can't I do anything to change them even if we are on the same city!. Each of us are responsible for the way we feel, and the way we deal with the situation...

Which course... Is a huge burden on itself!. He he he. Because, of course, it is always so much easier and nicer to blame outside things to our emotional state. When you are told "it's up to you" it really does suck big time!!!...
Like... How?!?!?!... Easier said than done I guess...

Over here though, I know A LOT of people who have make this happen for themselves. Around here it seems to be the norm that, indeed, those long distance relationships end up working. If anything, I can pretty much see that, a long distance relationship, statistically, works just as much as any other one. And, in the end, if things work out or not, it will be because of things other than the distance itself.

So... Now I just have to really embrace that way of seeing things, and bring it down to a visceral-emotional level. He he he, so that there it does the proper work. Having it "in" intellectually is good, but the part that always messes me up is not quite my rational one, not ever.

Heh.

... Cheers.

This week

we are living with Daniel and Sandra again. Part of the silly arrangement that we made with our Land-Lady. We could have the place, as long as she could have during the last week of September. (Some family of hers, visiting from England and all... Nice folks all of them, gotta love the accent)...

Anyway, it is all good. Those two guys, (Daniel and Sandra), are quite great!. And well, there is always something interesting to talk about with them. Besides, Daniel just got back from Japan, so he has some good stories and pictures to keep us amused for a while.

School?... Still a bitch I guess, but I am getting a pace and a rythm. I still cannot figure out how I will be able to do and learn all the stuff I am supposed to, but I am working into that and it feels a tad better. Heh...

What else?... Ah yes, place looks awesome and pretty. Fall is here and thus the trees are yellow and red and they make an awesome view from the bridge that takes you to downtown, and all those little trails. I feel I am in some tale in the Stardust setting while walking around those places. ^_^

... he he he.. silly and dry update, sorry!...

cheers

My 20 seconds...

Ok ok... I have like 20 seconds to bitch about my current state and write my tragedy... Then, I promise I will try to let go...

1... I am seriously having 2nd thoughts about my choice of being here...
I don't fucking know why I ended up doing it... And I... Argh....
I almost feel I had just stayed in my comfort bubble and be happy there...

I hate fear... I hate fearing... I don't like change... Although I am excited about finding out the kind of person I may change into after all this......

sigh... this is not being half as nice as I pictured it I guess...

going through some serious freaking out stage, and probably, for the 1st time in my life although I had already gone abroad before, I am experiencing home-sickness and it sucks...

... It really does.

... 20?

A piece of advice,

for all of you guys thinking about a Masters... Think twice about it. Ok?

Heh... Ok now, if you really want to go for it. STOP working on your programming skills, and getting up to date with c++ or whatever crap. That is not the point at all, and believe you me, it doesn't really make a huge difference. On the other hand... WORK LIKE CRAZY on your math!... Ok?... Really, get your linear algebra, analytic geometry, statistics and all those things up and running... REALLY!... The issue is there...

Sigh...

Anyway... Gotta keep on reading and catching up... Life is going fine, really. Weather is kind of cold, but pretty beautiful. The trees are getting yellow, and red, and all those nice things. I tried and, well, got into the university's choir!. He he he. Which is quite fun, relaxing, and a good way to meet people... I am learning to read music too. Heh.

I miss Wend like crazy... But... I do manage to write to her a lot, and talk as often as we both can make it happen... Sigh... And, to be honest?. I miss you all, A LOT... Over here, as cool and interesting as everything is, I haven't found my spot. That sense of belonging is still missing, the warmth when I bump into people and all... Well, it really isn't there yet. But I have to be honest, it is building up. Of that I am happy.

And... Well... Whatever... I gotta start reading about "Spatial Navigation in Virtual Reality Environments: An EEG Analysis" & "Defining Point-Set Surfaces" for my classes tomorrow... Heh.

CHEERS!...

^_^

At first, it was me

not having a computer and a steady access to the networld... Now?... Now it's me freaking out and pretty darn sure that they must have made a horrible mistake... Like what?... Like letting me in here to begin with?!... What was going on in their mind when they accepted me into the program?...

Sure... Now I have access to a computer. But so what?... I am having a little hard time finding a thing called time for my self. Not only because there is quite a lot to do, but because most of it I don't understand at all...

Classes are cool, and I can tell the discussed topic is pretty darn interesting and bla bla bla... But... When they get into it... I am clueless and the class begins to be thaught in German or some obscure sort of chinnesse... Or an evil, evil mx between those two.

...

Whatever... I am here, so I might aswell make it work, right?...

Heh...

Still working on that, catching up with this blog thing... O.o

CHEERS... And send those good vibes over people!!... They are needed and appreciated.

No one to blame

but me...

I have been VERY bad regarding my blog. But not only that, but as well writing to friends and family... Have I had the time?. Hmm... Maybe, sometimes. But when I find my self with such "free time" I have no computer around...

Sigh...

That's right!. I am computerless!... O.o

It sucks, so... The few times I am around a computer is to do school stuff, some quick research, and I barely have time to write my family and girlfriend... By the way, TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR 7 MONTHS!!!...

... And I am telling you, with this new setting each of those new months on the count in the relationship will really be something to celebrate and be VERY happy about. He he he. ^_^

So YAY for us two!!!...

Anyway... I am sorry for all of you who have been around, expecting news, and have found none... Most of you I know personally, and I know you do care... Thanks for that, and all the good vibes!.

Little by little I will find my self in here, settled down, with a proper daily schedule and a new routine... Then, I promise, this blog shall come back to life!!!!...

Things have been awesome, and there is so much to write about. And well... You know I love writing about stuff that happens!. He he he. Actually, I have to!. I do remember this is a site pretty much for me, to read later on and have a smile by reading who I was, what I was doing and how I felt then.

(It is weird to be writing about me, reading about me in the future, and smiling back at the guy who is writing about that future me... O.o)

Err... Anyway.

Thanks for sending all those good vibes, AND FOR CARING!!!!!!!...

Cheers, and good vibes guys and gals.

^_^

Things are going,

although somewhat slow, pretty darn great. ^_^

There is a lot to share, but it will happen later on. So much is going on, and so much I have to make happen!!!...

Cheers and good vibes for thee.

In a few hours

I am getting on a plane... Moving onto a new, unknown life...

I am scared, nervous and a bit sad... Yet, at the same time super happy and excited...

...

Sigh...

Life...

I have been

living this week in quite an intense way... So many things happening all around me and so many things to think. I officially decided I do not want a farewell party, I wouldn´t really enjoy it.
There is some people I want to see before I leave, but I have so little time that I just... Don´t know how I could make it so that my time with them is actually a good quality time.

Of course my priority has been Wend... Very good times with her, for real. I... Going away is just great!, but, at the same time... it sucks. O.o

Sigh...

As well I have had good talks with a couple of friends. Pretty much about how life is about to change, way too much, and way too for real.

And... I am... Don´t even know what to write!... I bet soon, maybe in about two weeks, I will be more settled and able to look back at this "last days" and write about them. Right now I am just a mess of emotions and ideas.

...

Good vibes though,

good vibes.

I hate this

countdown... I hate this feeling...

...

So, happy bday "little"

brother... 21 for you and counting. ^_^

Good times.

Nice day... A bit weird with me cleaning up my office and leaving my cubicle all clean. All of you who had been there know that... Well, you could really tell it was mine, and it looked freaking cool. Now it's just empty. And... It's kind of a strong symbol I guess. What felt more was when Wend came around as I was putting stuff in a box and the face she made... :-(

Things between her and I are nice though, although we joke a lot in such a way that we leave out a lot of our fears, I guess mostly about other people hitting on her/me, or we being interested in dating someone else... Etc. I guess it is only normal, and the bit of fear we have goes to show, I guess, that we really care for what we have. As long as it stays on the healthy side.

O.o

Anyway, today one of the highlights at dinner was when Mariel was able to keep a spoon holding by her nose!!!... YAY!!!... Congrats girl!...

He he he. Now, I am figuring out stuff about the place where I am going to live in Edmonton... In... Just about a week.

Darn it...

Cheers... o.O

I had an awesome

weekend!!... ^_^

It started out with a nice evening with Wend on Friday, and later that same day, a drinking fest to remember for a while!!!... He he he. It happened at Sergio's place, and well... We did drink a lot and did all the things a bunch of merry guys would do... O.o

Saturday?... Due to the happenings of the previous night, I managed to stay in bed until after 2pm or so. Then I picked up Wend and we just spent the whole day in my house. Victor and Mariel were around too. Sometimes we would do stuff together with them, but it was mostly just relaxing. Nice talks, watched lost, played games, etc... I so wanted a day like that!.

Sunday was nice too, we went shopping and a lot of good stuff.

Today?... Well... Today it my LAST day at work, and this is officially my LAST WEEK in Mexico!!!... O.o

I soooo don't want to pick up my desk and leave it all clean... It really looks all cool with all my toys and pictures. Damn it.

Sniff...

Oh well... Gotta move on right?.

ps. Finished reading Startdust from Neil Gaiman... I am honest, a forever fan of whatever he writes... For real. The sensation that it left me was close to that one from Neverwhere. It is really a lovely tale of magic and fairies, but written in quite a grown up tone. So... It may not be for your little kids, ok?!. O.o

Another good bye...

This time to Cona... It was harder for Wend, that I know, but still I felt somewhat sad and nostalgic when giving her that final hug... And least in a very good while.

Her good vibes words to me were very nice and filled with good vibes, mostly to my relationship with Wend... Sigh...

Wend was crying and somewhat sad, as I said, a lot of things on her mind. I feel like being with her, taking care of her. She didn't look good, not only emotionally but even a bit too tired?, or a little sick. I guess she needs to just chill tonight, maybe have a lot of sleep, and eat properly.

... I feel almost guilty for going out with the guys tonight. But that was arranged since a while ago, and well... Friends are friends, and a deal is a deal.

Life gets weird and interesting...

Sigh...

Cheers, and good vibes to my girl. ^_^

Stupid ads

are going away, at least for a good while... They are really not making that much money, and all of a sudden I feel very intolerant...

And a catching up

evening it was. Wend went out last night with some of her friends in an all girls night out thing. Two of those friends are going abroad as exchange students, Cona is going back to Switzerland, and well... She did have indeed good reasons to go out and have some good times with them!...

Me?... Well, that left me all of a sudden with the chance to do something, but no car to do anything with... He he he. And I really wanted to have a cool talk and catch up with Tomas. So we talked about it and the fellow ended up visiting me. ^_^

We had several beers, and a pretty darn awesome talk. About so many things. Fears and expectations in life, and A LOT about women. Heh... Go figure.

...

By the way... What do you like better?. The magic of falling in love?, of the flirting and those initial stages?... Or the actual magic of just being your self?, having dates just in your PJs without fixing your self up, cleaning around and even doing laundry together?...

He he he. I am leaning towards the 2nd choice, BY A LOT!!... ^_^

Cheers and good vibes!.

ps. Yesterday I started reading Stardust and I am already half way through!!!... O.o It really is VERY good!... Damn, I almost didn't want Tomas to arrive yesterday at some point! (But don't worry mate, I really enjoyed our talk!). He he he, freaking book. (Thanks Luna girl!!).

The wheel has been turning,

and it just... Doesn't seem to want to stop for a while. It has been exciting, and so weird. Scary and invigorating, all at the same time. All this while that I have not been writing stuff, has been probably the one with more stuff worth writing down, and with more insights and thoughts worth engraving on this virtual stone of mine...

But life is like that, right?... And I once said that life is to live it, not really to blog it. He he he. It may be that I come to write, in detail, about all the things that I am about to list. The thing is, I don't like not writing what is recent, just because I feel I got to respect what is past... And that is plain silly.

So, a quick ode for what is past and a couple of highlights worth mentioning about each... Probably just for me to understand, but they will be enough pointers to make my memory run through those areas, for the time in which I feel like writing more down... Anyway...

Well, about Vallarta, I almost feel like not writing anything. I fear that once I start I won't be able to stop until I write the whole thing down. What matters is that it was AWESOME. The Lindo Mar Hotel was much better than I expected, and we all had a great time. The beautiful beach right there, with awesome pretty fishes just swimming around the people!... I had forgotten they had such nice beaches around Vallarta.

One Highlight?... Well, for me at least, going to El Faro. That night in which I stole Wend away and just she and I had an awesome dinner, and a nice time with some drinks up in a light-house by the docks... Or course there was the fun Boat ride, with snorkeling and all. All the fun times at the beach, at the jacuzzi, La Bodeguita, the floatis we got. Etc... He he he. Of course I HAVE TO mention the Burgen King crowns that were with us all through the week!!!. ^_^

Traveling with your girlfriend is nice, and fun. You even get to share interesting arguments, and find out more about the "every day" person. You cannot really pretend for that long, and it is nice to see that, all along, we have pretty much being just ourselves!!!. Awesome experience.

Another thing worth mentioning, that kind of started happening while on Vallarta, was the fact of Wend moving out... Yup, some issues with her past rommie, rent all of a sudden a bit too expensive and all. For a while, it almost seemed that it was going to ruin the good times in Vallarta. But Wend managed to stay calm and make things happen. Quickly she found another place, much better actually, and well... The whole deal about helping her pack ALL her stuff, and move it to the new place was an adventure on it's own. O.o

Right before moving out, we celebrated Swiss day having some good Fondue and White Wine in Wend's old apartment. Now that I think of it, it was kind of a nice farewell party to that place... (Doing my best to NOT get nostalgic here... Damn, I get too attached to places and some things... Just...The ones I decide are "special" for some magical reason, known most of the times only by me).

Wednesday last week we went to see Sin City, and I LOVED IT. And the reaction from Wend and Cona was well worth it too. Cona just plain hated it, and Wend, being a comunicologa and all, just has to accept it was pretty darn good. She just wished the sound was... well... Silent I guess, because she claims that is what made it much more aggressive. I kind of agree actually, the movie is much stronger than the comics, pretty much because of those sound effects about a fist smashing down someone's face. Still, great movie. After it, we had some great ice cream and pizza in Zapopan. La fragola is really an awesome place to go.

The next day we went downtown, and it was nice. I love going there, and really, we were ALL OVER the place. I say I make a pretty good tourist guide around that area, and thank God I usually never get lost while walking. Don't ask me why, but it seems walking I know my way around, it is driving that kills me.

The stores part was... Well... A bit tiresome. Being alone with two girls in there is almost too much. They want to see everything, ask for prices, etc!. O.o Joey came around eventually and made it easier. The quote of the day was: "Hay Dios mio, Cona descubrio los Zarapes!!". I laughed to hard, that people actually came out to look who was making such sounds... He he he. Oh well.

At night, in Marilu's bday party we had a good time. Important in there is to note that something happened that made me very upset with Wend. But... We managed it in a pretty cool way. I like it how we deal with those issues. I really really do. (Some fun with Cona talking about our company idea...Wend is not too fond of it though).

Then... Well... There was a HUGE deal with the Camioneta. Which had probably died, but then all of a sudden it seems to be ok, etc... Those issues hit so freaking hard in my family is almost scary. Money... Always the money.

The weekend?...The worthiest part to mention was Pollo's bday party, and it was great. All that people, all that food, beer, snacks, candy... Really. He really did went all over the board to make an awesome day to all of us. And I do think all of us who attended had a pretty darn good time.

Later that night we went to La Turca. Kind of nice "idea" of place, but bad execution. If they want an antro for dancing and all... Well, then they should remodel. And if they want a cool hanging out place... Well, then they should turn the music down by a lot!. O.o

Still, nice talk with a guy I had not seen in months, he just came back from Mazatlan.

Sunday night?. Farewell to Joey... Sniff... First friend I say good bye to...

I am officially scared... But SOOOO in denial.

He he he.

Ok, there you go... And... Of course:

CHEERS AND GOOD VIBES PEOPLE!!!...

ps. Really, it's me!.

I am still

around and alive.

Promise.

O.o

The thing is...

I am really busy... In quite an exhausting way actually, and not only work related. Besides making things happen for Canada and all, I am doing all sorts of things with Wend, and taking Cona all over the place...

That leaves me pretty much with time to sleep... O.o

And it sucks, because during this days A LOT has happened that is worthy of writing here... I have some drafts just with keywords about things I want to write eventually, etc... I do hope I get around them soon.

Besides, the whole "not writing" becomes even stronger because, although say I could write something right now about how cool yesterday was, I feel kind of weird writing that before telling some of the stuff that went on in Vallarta...

Silly I know...

Like... Documenting today feels unfair, because the past was on queue before?... Damn I am silly and somewhat obsessive...

Anyway... Life is happening, and life is good... That is kind of what matters... Right?.

Cheers...

Good vibes to thee!,
and thanks for the good ones to me!. ^_^

I am kind of

back... But with a terrible lack of time... I HAVE TO finish something at work, etc... Just... Getting ready I guess, I am going in 3 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!...

O.o

I have to write A LOT about Vallarta... I hope I manage to do it during the day.

For the time being, CHEERS AND GOOD VIBES to you all!!!...

^_^

My bday ended up

being AWESOME!!!!... And... I hope I get to post pictures later or something. A lot of people showed up to the bar and, in general, all through the day I had a pretty good time. ^_^

I am about to take off to Puerto Vallarta for a week, so I may not have time to write during this time. But... When I come back, I promise some proper details about my bday, and about the Puerto Vallarta week in general!!!!...

A ton of smiles to you all!!!...

HUGS AND CHEERS PEOPLE!!!

I have been having

some pretty darn cool days lately, I love it when people from other countries come, because it's an awesome reason to do a lot of great "Mexican" things around the city. And, doing that, has actually placed me in a very proud Mexican mood.

For example, the day before yesterday at Casa Bariachi... Wow... That Mariachi was awesome and gave me goose bumps... And watching Victor dance like a stripper too... But those were the bad kind... O.o

I don't know. I guess it is the whole "me going to Canada" deal that has me super conscious about a lot of things. Besides, Wend is so happy to have Cona here, and her family too. We all had a good time yesterday at Tonala. (Although I got lost terribly!!!!... Like... Really!... But somehow we made it there).

Today?... Well... Today is my Bday and it will be a busy time, I have several things to do through the day, and I need to get my stuff ready for Puerto Vallarta!! (Tomorrow we are going!).

Sigh...

Weird mood to be honest. But... Good though. Just... Thoughtful I guess?.

Anyways... CHEERS AND GOOD VIBES!.

^_^

Mañana,

Julio 22, en el Pancho Reatas a las 9. ^_^

Yay!... Happy bday to me!!...

I find my self facing

what is the very last chapter of About a Boy. And I don't want to read it... I don't want this book to be over, and I cannot fathom a possible way in which the author will manage to wrap it all up in just a couple of pages.

... But of course I will read it. As soon as I click "publish" on this silly blog thing.

And the freaking book will soon be over, most likely leaving me with that sense of loneliness and nostalgia that good books cause in me. When they are over and their time is not mine anymore.

Cona, Wend's friend

arrived yesterday and we went to pick her up at the airport. Before I went to get Wend, and I got to say "hi" to her family, her dad and all the bunch are here visiting too!... O.o

He he he. I am not that nervous around them anymore though. Which is good. ^_^

Anyway, we ended up waiting a lot at the airport, for one because the plane was delayed, and then because the luggage came much later in some other plane. But it was good!. The first bit Wend and I kept each other nice company, and the 2nd Cona was around and she is really a nice fun girl!. She was telling us all her "traveling to Mexico" adventures, and we were quite amused.

Wend is so happy and excited about having her here. I can totally relate, like the time in which Chris came to visit, or my British friends. It really is pretty cool.

Once we had the luggage, we went to Wend's place and I pretty much called it a night...

I am sleepy now... O.o

Very.

Whatever... A lot of the guilt is stupid Nick Hornby's awesome About a Boy book. It just kept me awake forever!!... I really really is a good read.

... And now. Gotta edit over a 100 pages of text!!... Yay!... ^_^
(totally sarcastic "yay" by the way).

Cheers peoples!.

Talking about birthdays,

mine is this next Friday, July 22nd.

I turn 25 and all. Sounds like I should make a big deal, but I am tempted to let it slide unnoticed. A part of me wants to do something, but the better part is too lazy about it.

What should I do?. Suggestions?.

And the Lord reunited

them for once, and He saw that it was good... ^_^

Sigh...

What a freaking weekend!!... O.o

I really am tired, yet again happy and smiling, and looking forward for this next month. My last month around here pretty much... (time ticking!... Feels weird).

At the end things worked out great in Mexico City, I got my student visa for Canada and I had a pretty darn good time in general. (They don't really give you the visa, just a little paper thingy to show when you enter the country so that the official will give you some sort of stamp or something).

Friday I walked around a lot, again, in some new [to me] streets and again, that nice feeling was with me. A sort of calm, relaxed feeling that just... Don't know. Kept me smiling for the slightest things. Later in the evening I was reading at Star Bucks by Paseo de la Reforma, when I bumped into a good friend of mine sitting by there and when we two recognized each other, we just smiled a lot and had a great talk. We kept each other company since her plane was leaving until much later, and I was making time my self because my bus was to leave until about 10 pm or so. Nice talk there.

Then, later in the hotel... I SAW WEND AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

It was pretty darn cool, she came so that we two could take the bus back together and we just had an awesome little time there... Really... It's hard to explain us seeing each other after all this time, and just talking and having fun and being silly... It felt really awesome.

I just have great times with Wend, I smile a lot when she is around!... He he he, and we two can be quite silly together.

The bus ride was tiresome, I really wasn't able to sleep... Wend managed despite all the bumping and jumping because we were pretty much sitting on top of the wheels.

Saturday?... Wend and I had break fast together, and in general just talking and sharing. You can imagine how it was after this time. Honest?. It almost felt as if she had not gone away though, we picked it up super fast and it was just as in the best days we have had.

Later Victor picked me up and I went to my house, grabbed some food, did rest a little and got ready for that night. At around 6 I went to Wend's again, we bought some stuff to clean her house, and then got ourselves ready for the party.

It was Cynthia's 25th bday and she had an awesome 60's - 70's themed party. A lot of us were wearing actual cool customs, there was good food, good music, karaoke and all!... He he he. There are some cool funky pictures about the whole thing. ^_^

Sunday?. Cleaning time!!!... Wend and I did her whole apartment and made it almost shine. We vacuumed the carpets, cleaned all the furniture, the bathrooms, stove, fridge, etc, you name it!!!. Her family is visiting this week, and so is Cona her Swiss friend!!... It was TIRESOME!!... Really!, but it was really cool and fun doing that with her. Of course we were joking all the time and sharing some good laughs.

Our relaxing time happened much later, after church, when we had some good dinner and watched a couple of Lost episodes. (Really awesome TV series).

...

Today I woke up super aching, stupid back and all... O.o

Cleaning the place like that is tiresome, and I got a whole new respect to all those cleaning ladies
around!... Really!.

And well... Gotta work a lot. :-(

Later though, I hope I can see Wend and have dinner with her. Tomorrow her family and friend arrive, and it is pretty much our last day being able to be by ourselves for a looong time. We want to have a nice time kind of making up for those month-aversaries in which we were not together. ^_^

Cheers people!!!...

Good vibes to you!!...

It has been a while

since I was able to, properly, wake my self up. I always have either my father or my brother around bugging me so that I eventually decide to jump out of the bed... I am really not a morning person, and sleeping is a habit I am very fond of... Anyway, this statement kind of makes sense, or has a point: I am worried about being able to wake up tomorrow.

I have to be up early so that I can stand in line, again, for some other steps regarding the Visa thingie. I was there, standing in line, for over and hour today!!!... o.O

So... That, and me being a bit afraid of going out at night on this oh so dangerous cit, will make me go to bed somewhat early.

I have to say, getting a room for me, placing my things around and just... Being there by my self, able to lay on the bed, turn on the TV or whatever, was sort of empowering... As silly as it sounds!!!... But, I really don't do this often. Travel and make things happen all alone. Usually I have at least a friend around, and that is fun too, but... This?... This feels good!.

Being able to walk for blocks and blocks, around all this nice streets. People watch and just... Smile!... Really. On the morning I had to go all over the place, to the Embassy, to the Doctor, to get medical exams, etc... And as tirening as it was, it felt good doing it, and I really enjoyed and appreciated my solitude. Not having to worry about someone else or what they wanted... Just... Chilling.

Then, later today, I walked to the Diana, to the Angel de la Independencia and some other glorieta. Had my self some coffee and sat to read and just watch people and think about life. He he he.

I really am having a good time.

And Wend is around!!!!!!!!!!!!!... In this same city, and not really that far away!!... Poor girl, again, she lost her luggage!... Well, the airport people did, and we don't know when they may arrive!... Errr... That does suck. And it is the second time this happens to her!!!... Darn it.

She insists on NOT seeing me until she is able to shower and wash her face or whatnot... He he he. Oh well. It is silly I know, I mean, I JUST WANT TO SEE HER!!!... But, I totally understand and, after all, she is a girl that likes looking good... (And me likes that!!!).

Besides, she is excited about getting together with a friend of her. She has not seen her for over two years, and I believe they plan some good catching up times today. :-)

Maybe tomorrow?. Anyway... It has almost been two months, and just knowing that I will see her soon feels great. As much as this time felt long while it was happening, now it feels like that time just flew by... Yup, time is weird like that.

I just got in a sort of "sigh mode" all of a sudden...

...

Anyway... My time on this computer is running out. So... Good vibes to you all people, and really, a huge hug!!!!

Cheers!!!

ps. never mind all the damned spelling errors... ok?... didn't really have time to go over this and see it it was properly written. O.o

I am taking off

to Mexico DF in a few hours. And... I guess I won't be able to post anything for a couple of days. As interesting as those couple of days do promise to be.

O.o

Anyway. Wish me luck.

Cheers people!... ^_^

Argh...

"A todos los solicitantes de beca en el marco de la Convocatoria 2005, Estados Unidos y Canadá (Demanda Libre y Convenios) se les informa que la Publicación de Becarios Seleccionados y Calendario para la formalización de becas se hará el 18 de julio de los corrientes."

Argh...

No news yet... Argh... Wait another full week...

sigh...

Yet a lot more

of little things to get done and ready, so that later today I can take of to Mexico City... I am a bit nervous about it to be quite honest, but excited too. First time alone in that freaking dangerous city... He he he. The stories I have been told!!!!... And everyone seems very eager about me being careful with Taxis...

Heh... I will survive though. ^_^

Promised!

... And well, the day is only starting and already it's been great. I saw a friend of mine early this morning and we talked a lot, and I helped her do a lot of things regarding design for a project she has. Pretty cool way to catch up with our lives.

Today will be an interesting day in general. I can see some good talks are ahead.

Anyway... I feel like I have a lot to say and share, but words are being clumsy, so I rather start getting things done.

Right?...

Cheers peoples.

I hate paper work,

I hate "check lists" and I hate large to-do lists in general...

I... Really!!... All the stuff I did today to make this visa thing happen!... When did it become so complicated to travel?... Really. When did they come up with the idea of passports and visas and all those things?!?!...

I went to two different banks today, got my passport, got my pictures, sent a fax (probably my first time with that kind of magick), wrote a ton of letters, asked some people to write letters for me, BLA BLA BLA!!!... And all the while, I managed to keep reading "The Color of Magic" by Terry Pratchett. By the way, I am enjoying that freaking book, but I read so much about him being like Douglas Adams that... I just can't feel he is fulfilling my expectations. Hmm... I was told the newer books on the series do get better and funnier. We shall see!!... O.o

Anyway... Two more people on the Blogs list thingy. Kind of new blogs, but getting interesting and deserved a spot. He he he.

Cheers to thee all...

ps. Still don't know about Conacyt. O.o

And you girls think

we are stone cold heartless bastards... At least a lot of times. You see, us guys feel in different ways and times. A lot of us won't really show emotion, or act all rough and though in front of a girl. But, at the end... We do fall down and feel like shit too...

I don't even know where I am going... I just know that I feel for my friend Blanco.

sigh...

I won't even talk about her though, the one that did all this to him, and how unfair it all seemed all of a sudden. How ridiculous even after such a wonderful weekend for them. But I do believe she has severe issues. It amazes me how much can someone be afraid to be loved.

But the one I care about is Blanco. And... I know it will be quite hard for a while, and it will suck big time for him. Then again, eventually you feel better, pain washes off and you are ready to move on. He is surely not alone.

... And he will surely never be. Merry good hearted fellow as he is. I only wish I had some besuconas around to give them to him!... ^_^

...

Me?... Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!!!!... O.o

I am going to Mexico D.F. this week, Thursday and Friday. Someone from over there cares to adopt me for that night?!... ^_^

He he he.

Cheers!

This was an awful

fun weekend... I had a really good time!. It started with good chilling coffee times on Friday, and it just got better from there. Saturday we went to Eve's house and played a ton of games, ate pizza, and watched Invader Zim... YAY!!... Just catching up and having some good talks. Freaking Dante is HUGE!!!...

Then, that night, Hector Luis and Blanco went to the house and we had a pretty darn good drinking night. Silly enough to get us in the mood to go and do crazy stuff in the Golf Course... Again. ^_^ (I just hate I can't see the faces of the golf players the morning after, when they find the flags placed in the middle of the sand tramps and lakes, and holes hidden by trash cans... sigh).

... And of course, that night we had a TOAST FOR MY 5 MONTHS WITH WEND!!... ^_^

Only one more week and I see her again!!!!!.... YAY!!!!....

Sunday?. I got my self a new swim suit and had an awesome talk with the girl from Squalo. Then I got my copy of High Fidelity, finally it was here!!!... And just... I was in a great mood. I spent the day at Sergio's just chilling, having drinks, good talks and watching Firefly.

... Yup.

It really was a good weekend!. I wish they all were this fun and eventful!.

He he he.

Cheers then!...

ps. I am so freaking nervous, supposedly I find out if I get the CONACYT grant today!!!!... O.o

Yet another week...

My parents will be out for the weekend, celebrating their anniversary and well... Of course I won't even try to think about whatever they will do in their get away!...

Ehem...

Anyway. It promises to be good, because parents will be out and there are a lot of parties and gatherings going on. Actually, I hate it when that happens!... He he he. Some times there is nothing to do, and this weekend will be one of those in which you have to let someone down, just because you just cannot do it all!!!

... And this Saturday Wend and I will make yet another month-aversary!!... Probably the hardest one for me, due to the distance. But as well, I think it is the one in which I have learnt the most about me and the relationship. So yes... I will have to cheer for that!!!!...

I have been living a bunch of weird days... Mixed feelings... So much to do, already missing people because of me going to Canada. And... Whatever, I guess.

It's just life catching up.

Cheers.

Well, being the way

I am it should not be a surprise that... Well... One of the little things I had not done yet, for my Visa thing in Canada, is getting me a proper passport!!... O.o

I know, I know... I mean, I had one. It's just that I never realized it expires next year...

And well... Things are all getting rushed and complicated. Wend is coming back late next week, and I wanted to have all that figured out already by then.

ARGH!!!....

But yes... Only feeling this rush and need to make things happen because I have no time left, is how I actually get things done. Sigh...

I should learn better though. Right?... He he he.

Cheers peoples!!!...

ps. Monday next week I am told about CONACYT... Cross your fingers for that!!!

I have been working

in way to many little things everyday, and just... Out of it in general. I still have SO MUCH to do before leaving to Canada. And some of those things are quite important, like... GETTING MY VISA!!!!!!!!!!!... O.o

Darn...

Gotta move on that!!....

Sigh...

Anyway, everything is coming together. The projects I am working on, etc. And it about two weeks I see Wend again!!!... I am so freaking happy about that. ^_^

... So... Gotta do stuff... O.o

I hate leaving all sort of important things for the last minute!!... ARGH!!!...

...

A few hours ago, I

kind of bid a last farewell to Jeziel. Although he will still be on my mind forever I'd say. Just now, Victor showed me some pictures of him, and... Well yes, it's hard to believe he is gone.

Sigh...

Still. At least his case is, and we buried him today. I even carried the coffin for a short while. I really wasn't planning on doing so, it just kind of came to happen. And freaking dude was a huge heavy guy!!... O.o

I honestly feel a lot of peace, and that he is happy... And really, a portion of him is around and smiling and sending good vibes to all of us.

I know I will feel sad now and then. But little by little that sadness will give way to just, fond memories that will make me smile, and not put me down...

Wow... Am I in a sigh mood or what?.

Regret tempts me, making me think all of a sudden that I should have spent more time with him, done this or that. Etc... But no. I will not give it room. I will learn from it though. From how I feel right now.

... Life...

Anyway... Cheers I guess. I am just, way too absent minded.

I hope I get back to my regular rants about whatevers soon. ^_^

A hug to thee all... For real.

I am still going

through the whole, saying good bye process... In a few hours I will go to Jeziel's burial and this whole thing has me thinking a lot...

It is the first time someone so young, so close to me, departs. And when something like that happens, I guess, you truly realize that death is around you. Lingering not only around parents or the sick. But just lurking around your close circle of healthy young friends... And that you really never know when it will be your turn.

When it will be the last time to say good bye to someone?... When it will be the last time they say good bye to you?.

Anyway... Let's not get too grim. ^_^

Cheers...
And let us all live this next week as if it were on purpose. ;-)