Everything changes

Today something weird happen, for the 1st time I was able to read an email that I wrote more than a year ago, and it gave me quite some surprises... This is an email that I sent to a few close people at a moment of huge despair in my life, I remember I was crying when I wrote it... and to be honest I was afraid of opening it... of reading it... I was afraid of bringing that sorrow back... to get upset or whatnot.

It's an email that I wrote when my relationship with Abby ended, and I pretty much wrote it to "let it all out"... it felt good to write it, and it felt good to read the response from those who received it... but I wasn't able to read it my self during all this time. Why today?. Well, I opened it because I wanted to share it with Gil, a friend who is going through something like that... his girl broke up with him, they had been together for over 5 years, and he is devastated... for some reason it felt appropiate to share with him several things, even this one email, and as I opened it to send it to him, I read it... and it was weird...

It was weird because it did bring back those feelings... but it was weird because I did not get upset... probably a little nostalgic... but it just made me think a lot of whan happened then... afterwards, and how I feel about it all today. Everything changes, even feelings... they mutate from sorrow to sweet memories... from pain to smiles once you know "it's all good at the end"... ha!, it's even funny, this blog thing started as a theraphy from that one event in my life!... and it's come to be a "repository" of thoughts and events from my life... all sorts of silly things... everything does change.

I won't erase that email, it is important to me I guess... but it was interesting to read it again... see how I felt then, and how much I've grown since the moment... it's one of those things in which you wish you had more words to describe it... but I feel very at ease, with peace... how interesting life is... how much we change... or as they say, how much we get to become who we trully are experience by experience.