Plain Confused...

Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.
Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.
- lost in translation

Sometimes I just feel plain confused, like some boat floating along the sea with no real direction... and that is scary... or actually, like a boat that is conscious of al the directions in may take, yet stalled because of it's indecision. Which I know, sucks...

I believe in magick, the power of will and how I am able to transform my circumstances in order to achieve whichever goal. Less that a year ago I decided that I wanted out of innox, and wanted to begin pursuing a life into a creative realm, I wanted to be part of that fun world of comics and games... Now, with the knowledge I've gained during this year, I do have an understanding of what comics are all about in terms or the artistic and the business process, and some good grasp of game development too... I love them both, and they are pretty much the same world to me... A world in which you work like crazy on something you feel passionate about, a fun world filled with art and creativity...

Yet they are so different in the way you approach them... which way to go?, what to do?... what should I pursue?...

Jorge is just back from the Con and he has great news, and inspiring words and experiences to keep us going... it seems that we made a decent impact with the guys in the comicon and now if we give good following to all that we can make things happen. But what about gaming then?. What about video-game designing and art?. I know I may sound like a spoiled confused little teenager that doesn't know what he wants to do with his life... I do know, I want to be a part of that world... work like crazy and do something creative... the problem is that whatever I try I love, and all those opportunities are challenging and great... they all seem like the coolest way to make a living...

But I do have to go for one... right?. I know I do...

And just picking bits and pieces here and there seems like a waste of time sometimes... if I will end up writting and inking comics, maybe I should just devote all my time to become the best there... right?. But no, I take about 2 hours a day to learn about game development, and I find in terribly exciting too. Is there a way to make both things happen?, I think there is... to be honest I believe I could write and ink a comic monthly (just one though), and do gaming related stuff, no problem.

Once I make enough of a living in comics, or in gaming, I could devote the rest of the day to the other passion... and that would be great. The issue as for now is that I have to work about 8+ hours a day to make money... so that leaves me with just a few hours to make things happen regarding what I really want.

I guess that's why that quote from lost in translation impacted me so much... I wish I could see were will I end up in some years... just skip ahead all this... but it's exciting too, I love my karaokulta brothers and that is I project that I cherish and want to see evolve, and I want to be a part of it... study a masters then?. Who knows... of all, that is the one choice that isn't making that much sense to me at the moment. I love the idea of 2 years into a proyect of mine, going to banff and all though... so yes... I am a confused meat bag for the time being.

And I believe it shows... energy doesn't lie after all...

argh.... gotta go to the bank....

If I had all the money in the world, and that wouldn't be an issue, I guess I would love to work on a game, at least one or two during their whole development... and write comics too, having a couple of personal projects to draw or ink... if and only if.