Part 9/10. The last week... The good-bye

The last week felt... I don't know. The last week felt like many things. One of them being, of course, too short. In one side I wanted to come back to Canada and fix up all the mess I had left behind, pick up the pieces of my masters project and make something out of it... On the other side, I didn't want to leave Albane.

It was hard, because she was so busy and, sometimes, I felt her distant... It may have all been in my head, and really school was taking the best of her time and mind... But I felt she was drawing a little away from me, almost as if wanting to protect herself from the good-bye soon to come...

I don't know... The memory of this week is weird and too filled with emotions, the memories of conversations we had, of feelings floating in the air... There was tension between us, we both knew the good-bye was coming and we both felt ackward and bad about it... About what would come next.

I did meet with some people, had a couple good nights with Cam and Pô, and Amelie and her friend... Hanging out with people, and sharing lovely times. But missing already Albane so much, we were still in the same city, and I was already feeling her away. It teared me apart in a gruesome way... In one of those ways you can only feel inside, but that really really suck...

... sigh...

I wasn't going to let this weird feelings cast a shadow on the last hours we were to share in France, and... Despite the work and all, we managed to have quality time together. Good times and awesome, and needed conversations... We shared everyday well into the night, despite the fact that she had classes so early the next day... Heh. Poor girl... She must have been so tired.

Friday we went for a beer with some of her cousins, and I got the chance to say "bye" to them... They were so kind and nice to me, made me feel so welcomed and, in just little time, made me feel like a friend and that I'd miss them. I said "bye" to Ophelie too...

I HATE saying "bye"...

...

Sigh...

Saturday was our last day together, we had a very good time. Even tried to be around the Bombay Indian Festival in Lille... It was huge event with too much people. Heh... I hate crowds. O.o At least we tried, right?... Of course, I preferred the intimacy of being only with her, than being squished around by hundreds of people in a parade!

We went back to her place... Shared some good times, smiled and laughed...

You know what sucks?...
Packing your things... Specially after so long, specially after you already had a spot for you in the closet, and one side of the bed felt like "your side"...

Packing in front of her as if saying "yes... this is really happening... after all, I am going to go"...

Ahhh... Those last few hours are filled with bitter sweet smiles and talks, hugs and kisses and watery eyes. I had made a trip not knowing what to expect, for the sake of love... For the sake of seeing her again. I had found a awesome travel partner, fun, good hearted girl, with a warmth that made me smile and feel good inside...

Fuck saying good-bye...

The TGV to Paris was surreal...

Being in the line, doing my check-in and having her waiting for me was surreal...

Being sitting in the airport next to her, holding her tight and close to me... Checking the time and realizing it was boarding time... Was surreal... It sucked. I couldn't believe it was happening, I didn't want it to be happening. I didn't want to go back to a reality in which she wasn't there...

...

We had time to get something to eat, and we got our stuff and made us a little picnic by a field in the airport... It was only us and a bunch of grass around us. We talked about whatevers and had our little bubble, ignoring really that I was about to leave...

...

It was boarding time... It was time for that wonderful hug, that lasts always way too little...

... And again, writing this posts makes me feel sad and nostalgic...

I hate that section in the airport in which only passengers can go through... Going through security and looking at her through a glass... Every time further away...

... The flight was much too long... I saw Groeland and icebergs... that was cool I guess...
After hours and hours... I arrived to Calgary, picked up my luggage and turned on my phone...

Right away it "ringed" telling me I had received a message... It was a message from Albane. My eyes went watery and my heart pumped hard, I smiled so so much...