...

I feel like shit right now. And yes, whatever. My posts may have been grim or sad as of late. So what?. This is the way I am feeling right now. And yes, I know it all will be good eventually (heh). Just... Right now. It feels like the joke is on me.

Yesterday everything happened. Everything. Way too much stuff to do at work, I am behind schedule and hating it. Things are getting messed up with the karaokulta project... Like, it could really be done and over sooner than I think. Being all nervous about the freaking GRE test that I am taking this week... And... Well.

All this... The way I have been, etc. Have really messed things up with Mishka. The one call we had last night was the saddest ever. I hate to feel I am making someone I care for so much cry. Honestly. It will be very hard to give her the space she needs. Actually. Hard for us both to just realize our realities and be able to accept them. But it makes sense to let things go this way... It makes sense to not strain them to the point of getting into a pointless argument and hate each other... I feel so guilty a lot of times. Even if just for allowing things to get this far, only to shatter the dream with such stupid reality... I am sorry... Then again.

It makes sense... It makes sense... It makes sense...

But it feels so bad...

-sigh-

Whatever...

[update] We both shared a pretty cool email about this whole thing... We both had been silly and now we can see it!. Heh. It makes sense to stop doing all this, all the daily hours lasting calls, etc... We both dreamers were just hooked on dreaming. We found someone we could do it with, and clinged to it. But it makes no sense. We both live here and now, in this worl. And we both have got to enjoy our realities. So, lets!.