Idle times for this blog...

Actually, quite idle since quite around this time to be honest... And then, just because kind of a downfall emotional stage in my life started to get intense... And, ironically enough, I didn't feel ok writing about it here...

... I am almost resentful with my blog right now. Yes, this blog. Not really because of anything in particular... But because it's been bringing me problems... Not really the fact that people do realize this and than, and some stuff that... Well... Should have been realized in a better fashion. But... Just... Things I've written, I have said... Whatever... DON'T JUDGE ME by my stupid blog!!!... And... If anything, ask me stuff and we can talk them through...

And that goes to the lot of you...

... Sigh...

See?... Blogs are filled with non-sense emotional stuff often times. This is, at least to me, a space to vent... To rant. And well... Stuff will come out when I am angry that may make me sound too harsh, or when I am in love that will make me sound too corny, or that may make me sound even too deep when I get philosophical...

But the fact is... They are all a bunch of facets of me... Phases, masks... Ideas that I go through... And, if anything, the real Hector is close to be the average of all the Hectors you may identify on this rants... But that averaged Hector will only represent the bit of me that I dare make this public...

... That goes specially, I guess, to girls that I date, and have dated... It really may be better of you to not read this at all... To not judge my feelings for you for what I write in here... Often times, when things are at it's best, I don't have time to write about them... And a lot of how I have felt, through years, for one girl or another, is written here... Don't get jealous of that, or expect me to write this or that about you... Etc... Just...

... ARGH...

O.o

... Anyway... Why have I not written anything quite worth it in so long?... For one, because I have honestly been busy... And another is that, I had been an emotional wreck, quite upset at the way things were working (or not) at that time with my girl... And... As much as I needed to vent, I didn't feel ok doing so here. Why?... For several reasons... The first being me safe keeping that relationship, and the other is too silly.

Safe keeping?... Yes... I didn't want you people, as great as you are usually backing me up, to start hating her... Or... Start focusing on the idea of me dumping her and me being better off without her... See?... That is what friends do, and it's your job and is appreciated... But... I didn't want that... She is a great girl, no matter how I was feeling about the relationship (not her) at the time. Besides, it really do is quite an open space, and as non-famous as this blog is, just the close people around are enough to make a nice fuzz.

... I am tempted to make this blog less personal from now on... Just... More general rants and ideas... Yet again, I don't know. And what is written is written, and I won't go back and edit anything...

... Sigh...

... Now... Off to chill...

Lots of love, hugs and honest good vibes for this upcoming year... Really, I mean it. I am sorry I have been so distant. (And that, I am pretty much saying to my self too).