These Are The Days...

I have been in a weird mood lately. Much stuff in my mind. Retreating my self to that personal cocoon I built sometime ago inside of me. Keeping people I care for out. Not really because I don't want to share. Just because, at the moment, stuff doesn't seem that share-able.

...

Yesterday at the show Queen that was presented in my campus I surprised my self doing something. Again. Wishing I was up there. It hit me that I, once, was part of the performers and felt that thrill and excitement. Knew the applauds were for me too. The times of rehearsals. Etc. Everything came back to my mind. I realized that I didn't know most of the cast now. Before, I was at least acquainted with all of them. Now. Just a few faces I recognized. It was my space no more.

And then it hit me... I am always like that. No matter what I am doing. I keep wishing I was doing something else. Dreaming I was somewhere else. No matter what. Always. I neglect reality and even dislike it. I enjoy so much the fantasies I create in my mind. They always seem much better than what is actually going on around me. Then again, that perception, really is just in my mind.

Among other things... I will be working on that...

This blog. This space. Will maybe be on a break. Or at least, I won't write for the heck of it. For the habit of having something up here everyday. I will write whatever when I feel it's worth it. Records of events. Records of thoughts. And even the occasional senseless rant. But just because.

...

For a very good reason, this song from yesterday did hit me. Read it and you may see why.

THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES ~Queen
Sometimes I get to feelin?
I was back in the old days - long ago
When we were kids when we were young
Thing seemed so perfect - you know
The days were endless we were crazy we were young
The sun was always shinin? - we just lived for fun
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don?t know
The rest of my life?s been just a show

Those were the days of our lives
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing is true
When I look and I find I still love you

You can?t turn back the clock you can?t turn back the tide
Ain?t that a shame
I?d like to go back one time on a roller coaster ride
When life was just a game
No use in sitting and thinkin? on what you did
When you can lay back and enjoy it through your kids
Sometimes it seems like lately - I just don?t know
Better sit back and go with the flow

Cos these are the days of our lives
They?ve flown in the swiftness of time
These days are all gone now but some things remain
When I look and I find no change

Those were the days of our lives - yeah
The bad things in life were so few
Those days are all gone now but one thing?s still true
When I look and I find
I still love you

I still love you

ps. cryptic messages for me...

Times in dreamland. Spaced out in my moon. Hoping and wishing. Not being around. Shadows in my sight. Straints in my heart. A talk with Mishka. Tears from us both. Bitter sweet smiles. Hugs of hope. Friendship prevails. Life seems to suck. Love hangs around. The show must go on.